Sunday Sesh: Let’s Get Ignorant and Devolve into an Army of Gastropods

By W.

January 22, 2017

4202

There’s a lot of anger in this country. Let’s work it out in a violent frenzy of slime and external digestion.

France’s Gastropode isn’t the first gastropod-themed band this blog has covered, but they may be the most ridiculous. The quintet, which features only bass guitar/percussion and four vocalists(!), describe last year’s record, Raw Snails Army, pretty aptly. “No guitar, no vocal effects, just heavy bass and lack of IQ.” The lack of IQ is apparent; across these 35 goregrind tracks that occasionally dip into brutal territory, there’s not a whole lot of melody, rhythmic variance, or intelligent song structure. What the band lacks in highfalutin artistry, though, they more than compensate with neanderthal bass riffs, chugs, and bowel-shaking growls. What is surprising, though, is the claim of no vocal effects. Amid the pig squeals, psychotic school-teacher shrieks (as heard in “Mon Ténia S’appelle Willy”), and Flava Flav-esque “Errrrrrrrrrrrs” (heard in the delightfully-titled “A Brutal Beneficial Anal”) are some absolutely disgusting growls and belches. Seriously, just listen “Change de Trou Ça Fume.” I have a hard time believing that those vomit sounds aren’t pitch-shifted, but well, I don’t know why I a rational person would make up sounding like a backed up septic system. Might as well take Gastropode at their word and get down in the primordial slime with them.

If you prefer your ignorance with a greater quotient of slams, perhaps Nervectomy will be more your speed. Look, I’m going to be honest. There’s way better slam than this out there. But I have yet to hear better slug-themed slam than what Nervectomy throws down with 2015’s Slam Slugs from Outta’ Space. After a delightful audio sample of military units trying to fight off a monstrous creature, we’re suddenly thrown into the melee with horrible, bile-spewing grunts, hokey polka beats, and totally out-of-place solos. If that sounds stupid, well, it is. Very stupid. But sometimes you need to get stupid, and Nervectomy ticks off all the right boxes. Sci-fi/horror audio samples? Check. Absolutely atrocious trash snare sound? Check. Pig squeals that would make Ned Beatty blush? Check. Chugs upon chugs upon chugs? You bet. Slam Slugs from Outta’ Space delivers all the horrible cliches in the most putrid package available, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

Half the world seems to be going mad, so embrace the slime. Hail Mollusca.