The Gentle Storm – Shores of India: A Video Breakdown


Looks like we’re in for nasty weather.

The Gentle Storm may not be a household name in the gated metal community, but you probably know the members. Leader Arjen Anthony Lucassen (just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) is known from his projects Star One, Ayreon, and Guilt Machine. You probably know vocalist Anneke van Giersbergen from The Gathering. Or The Devin Townsend Project. Or how about doing guest vocals for Moonspell, Novembers Doom, Napalm Death, and Giant Squid. Or perhaps you just know her as the pretty redheaded lady with the pretty voice.

That’s quite the list of band, isn’t it? I’d pay full-price to see that festival. With both having such impressive resumes, it’s no wonder The Gentle Storm came about. Let’s look at their latest video for the song “Shores of India”.

0:10: Great! I love playing Civilization IV. [Civ V or get out, pleb – W.]
0:20: “Let me feel your moobs.”
0:27: Hey, it’s retirement-age Lion-O from the Thundercats!
0:34: Hmmm is this racist?
0:41: I mean she’s not in “brown-face”, so that’s good.
0:44: This dude is really bad at kissing. Completely missed her lips.
0:50: “Heeey, you’re a super gal, but I have an early meeting. I’ll call you some time!”
0:56: They really used all the power of the PS1 for this video.
0:59: Lllllllllllllllllllllllladies.
1:05: I think she’s trying to hypnotize us and not in the good Las Vegas-y way.
1:11: Was this scene drawn by the director’s kid?
1:21: Anneke’s arms must’ve been so sore after this video was completed.
1:28: Throw up those metal horns!
1:32: The original status update.
1:43: Ugh starting to feel sea sick.
1:54: If this was real, this window would be covered in seagull shit and snot.
2:04: India jazz hands!
2:07: “Ooof shouldn’t have eaten all that naan.”
2:13: Ok, there’s at least some cultural misappropriation going on here.
2:20: “Dear Bae….”
2:29: Remember kids: Winners don’t smoke opium in green-screens.
2:33: Easy there, Smokey.
2:37: Gasp! Wind!
2:47: And that is why you don’t use computer graphics in music videos.
2:58: According to this song, everything happens on the shores of India. It’s a magical place. Just like T.A.H.I.T.I.
3:05: “Oh, and don’t forget to buy those chips I like at the store.”
3:07: Hahahahahahahahahahaha
3:17: He’s shredding the hell out of that thing.
3:22: Are there no strings on it?
3:24: Dude has to lay off the opium-and-belly-dancer parties.
3:29: That’s the face of someone who loves the fuck out of the shores of India.
3:41: I keep expecting to see that rainbow Mac beachball spinning during this video.
3:48: Hell, I just saw one string. Whatever, he’s still high as a kite.
4:02: They couldn’t CGI in a drummer or something?
4:09: Computer artists really need to work on the door opening animation.
4:12: Probably should’ve taken a boat with an actual crew.
4:17: “Also, don’t look at my search history, Suzanne.”

The Gentle Storm’s new album The Diary is available now via Inside Out Music.

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