This Toilet Tuesday (3/3/15)
“Have another drink!” they said. “The pizza hasn’t been out that long,” they said. “They” are terrible people, you think to yourself as you sit slumped over the toilet bowl. You regret everything you’ve done over the past eight hours, having overindulged in everything you could get your hands on. You wish you could take it all back, but there is no escaping this unholy throne until you have paid your dues.
You feel the Gordian knot that is your stomach tighten, and you sit upright and brace yourself. Feeling the bile rise, you tense up… and shit yourself. You look over your shoulder in shock. Sure enough, a pool of foaming brown slime is spreading on the floor below you. The site of it makes you gag and you take in a sharp breath. You can taste it on the air. This pushes you over the edge and you begin to vomit. Unfortunately, you don’t manage to turn your head back to the toilet quickly enough, coating the walls in your wretched expulsions. Your drunken mind reeling and your head spinning, you tumble over into your shit puddle. With your legs still in the squatting position, your bowels loose themselves onto the befouled tile once more. You groan and roll over in a final attempt to save the bathroom from further defilement. Your hand hits the floor a little too hard, sending droplets of liquid feces flying into your face. You taste a little enter your mouth and you vomit once again. Your shaking arm gives out from underneath you, and you slip face-first into the noxious mixture. Thoroughly defeated, you reach up to flush away the little vomit you managed to get in the bowl. Something clogs and it backs up. You weep as you feel its cold, vile waters wash over you.
As the toilet receives, so shall it give. Bathe in the putrescence of This Toilet Tuesday.
Sarinvomit – Baphopanzers of the Demoniacal Brigade (7 Gates of Hell) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Swallowed by Perdition Holes,” “Pandemonic Radiation Descends”
I know, I know, we’ve all heard this before, but let’s listen to it again. This may be your average Bestial Blackened Death/Thrash with a side of warmetal and bronydeath, topped with some bloody-as-hell screeches as “vocals” but it gets the job done better than many others. I doubt this four song debut EP is going to make a lotta lists or be listened to years from now, but in the meanwhile I’ll be jamming this in the corner. (Karhu)
Sannhet – Revisionist (The Flenser) [Instrumental Post-Whatever]
Stream
Let’s get one thing straight, yon heathens: The Flenser rules, and that’s that. They’ve continued their tradition of releasing imaginative, thought-provoking metal by picking up Sannhet for their new album, Revisionist. The instrumental classification is likely to throw off some listeners, but the spacey, post-something-or-other wash of sound will surely hook those inclined to check it out. This outfit makes a lot of big sound for just three dudes, and they are particularly well known for their live show featuring an elaborate light show that is controlled live by the members. If you can’t catch them in person, then sit back and dig on the fantastic harmonic tension created by the excellent lines of bassist AJ Annunziata, the spacey perfection of guitarist John Refano, and the busy, yet tasteful drumming of Chris Todd. (Stockhausen)
Pyriphlegethon – Night of Consecration (Independent) [Black Metal]
Stream
Let’s get one thing straight, yon heathens: I’m no poser, and that’s that. So when an opportunity to check out a new album from Mories comes up, I’m going to jump at the chance. The man is a multi-faceted machine that never stops cranking out dark, fascinating music, and Night of Consecration is no exception. While surely rooted in a raw form of black metal, there’s an unmistakable post- feel to many of the tracks. That being said, there’s really no substitute for sitting down and taking his albums in over a good amount of time; a multitude of layers will surely unfold for the listener. Check out his discography here, and stream the new Pyriphlegethon above.
Ancst/Ast – Ancst/Ast (split- Vendetta Records) [Black Metal]
Stream
Upon hearing the opening notes of “Blame Chord,” I immediately ran outside and began windmilling in the raging blizzard, holding my speakers aloft as I have held many an invisible orb of power. Ancst play my favorite brand of black metal, and they do a damn fine job of it. Ast are equally delightful, but more for their progressive styling and tasty lo-fi production. Both bands incorporate a hefty dose of punk into their sound as well; Ancst in their attitude and vocals that are equal parts shout and scream, and Ast in their outside-the-box chords and song structures. These are two great tastes that taste great together. (Spear)
Leviathan – Scar Sighted (Profound Lore) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Within Thrall,” “All Tongues Toward”
I need to confess something. I’m a Leviathan noob. But now I’ve seen Wrest’s face, and I’m a believer. “Within Thrall” is an absolute banger of a song, from the pained vocal squeals to the blistering riffs to the throbbing drums. This is weird, unsettling black metal, and it hits just right. The Leviathan cometh, and none shall stand in its way. FFO: Kreig, Panopticon, Twilight (W.)
Enslaved – In Times (Nuclear Blast) [Progressive Black Metal]
Stream
Enslaved have rightfully earned their place in the black metal pantheon. Deftly transitioning from a searing and raw black metal force to a progressive weaver of soulful aural adventures, the band has only been consistent in the quality of its releases. However, you can always count on being thoroughly enchanted when you press play on a new Enslaved record, and from what I’ve heard of In Times, this album will not be an exception. Unfortunately, you Northamerikaners are going to have to wait another week for the release on this side of the pond. Get hyped. FFO: Blut Aus Nord, Keep of Kalessin, Bathory (W.)
Apostate – Time of Terror (Ferrum) [Doom]
Listen to “Pain Served Slow”
Axemaster – Overture to Madness (Pure Steel Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Sanity’s Requiem”
Autumnia – Two Faces of Autumn (Solitude Productions) [Doom]
Listen to “…By Your Hand,” “Increasing the Grief Terrestrial”
Black Chord – Misery Doctrine (Independent) [Death Metal]
Stream
Black Jade – The Downfall Session (Black Tower Production) [Black Metal]
Bleak Revelation – Afflictive Seclusion (Independent) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Egotistic Considering”
Caveat – Kobayashi Maru (Tridroid) [Death/Doom]
Stream
Chaos Divine – Colliding Skies (Firestarter Music) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “Soldiers”
D.HATE – L.I.F.E. (Metal Scrap) [Death/Groove Metal]
Listen to “Splitmind”
Fhoi Myore/Wyrms – Les Limbes Pourpres/Mehxohorr- Les IV Dimensions Cosmogoniques (split- Ossuaire Records) [Black Metal]
Listen (NSFW)
Foetal Juice/Human Landfill – Foetal Juice/Human Landfill (Grindscene) [Grindcore]
Listen to “Albert Grindstein”
Fog – Mors Atra (Sliptrick Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Sick Part of your Brain”
Forces United – II (Metalism Records) [Power Metal]
Stream
Garden of Worm – Idle Stones (Svart Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Summer’s Isle Including Caravan”
Heavydeath – Eternal Sleepwalker (Svart Records) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Ascending”
Himinbjorg – Wyrd (European Tribes) [Viking Metal]
Listen to “The World of Men Without Virtue”
Impellitteri – Venom (Frontiers Music) [Power Metal]
Preview
Iron Kobra – Might & Magic (Independent) [Speed Metal]
Listen to “Vanguard of Doom”
Kjeld – Skym (Hammerheart Records) [Black Metal]
Stream
Kurhan – Głód (Arachnophobia Records) [Blackened Death]
Stream
Kyrbgrinder – Chronicles of a Dark Machine (Cherry Red Records) [Prog Metal]
Last Minute to Jaffna – Volume II (Argonauta Records) [Doom/Drone]
Listen to “Chapter XV”
Lucidity – The Oblivion Circle (Inverse Records) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Conjuring Veil”
Maestus – Voir Dire (Glossolalia Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Weeping Granite”
Maladie – …Still… (Apostasy Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Inexistentia”
Moonspell – Extinct (Napalm Records) [Black/Gothic Metal]
Listen to “Extinct”
Narvik – The Snake of Paradise (Independent) [Black Metal]
Neoheresy – Wyrocznia (Hell Is Here Productions) [Folk/Black Metal]
Stream
Neolith – Izi.Im.Kurnu-Ki (Non Serviam) [Blackened Death]
Listen to “Of the Angel and his Orison”
Night – Soldiers of Time (Gaphals) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Across the Ocean”
Overtorture – A Trail of Death (Apostasy Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Embrace the End”
Plage – Den Kristne Stank (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Den Kristne Stank”
Red Moon Architect – Fall (Playground Music) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Cradle”
Scarab – Serpents of the Nile (Vicisolum Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Serpents of the Nile,” “Pyramid of Illusions”
Shellfin – Cities Without Names (Independent) [Doom]
Stream
Shepherd – Stereolithic Riffalocalypse (Independent) [Doom/Sludge]
Stream
Stubborm – Luto e Terra (Independent) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Obsession”
Subversion – ANIMI (Independent) [Djent]
Listen to “Imperfect,” “Revelation”
Top Dead Celebrity – High Horse (Independent) [Doom]
Stream
Unveiled – Endless Extreme Hate (Grundar Productions) [Death Metal]
Preview
Valor – The Crown and the King (Pitch Black Records) [Power Metal]
Preview
Vhod – Tor IV: The Desolates (Independent) [Death Metal]
Stream
Viking – No Child Left Behind (Independent) [Thrash]
Preview
Virulent Gestation – Primordial Sexual Suffering (Independent) [Goregrind]
Listen to “Molesting the Infected”
Volucrine – The Lead Heavens (Inverse Records) [Alt Metal]
Listen to “Gravehead”
Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!
(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)
