This Toilet Tuesday (5/5/15)

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This can’t be happening, you think to yourself as you’re dragged into the meeting room. After six hours of non-stop work, you were caught by your boss on the way to the bathroom. You deserve a break; hell, you need a break before the dark omen your innards portend comes to pass. It seems fate has it in for you today, though, as you sit down with your fellow employees, with no clue of how long this will take.

Your boss cuts straight to the chase: the company has been steadily losing money for the past two years, and there’s no sign of recovery in sight. Your stomach sinks when he says that some positions need to be eliminated. You need this job. And a goddamn bathroom. A few more words are said, but you barely hear them over the blood pumping in your ears. The meeting finally adjourns and you stand up to leave, ready for sweet release. Just as you’re about to make it to the door, your boss calls you back over. You groan and sit back down as the last few employees filter out. “I’m sorry,” he says somberly, “but you’ve got two weeks left here. Though it pains me to say it, your job was the most expendable. I’m truly-” but he’s cut off by a tremendous rumbling. The stress has gotten the better of you, and your bowels unleash their fury upon the meeting room. The force of the rectal explosion sends you rocketing skywards; you accidentally catch your boss’s chin with your fist, carrying him upwards in a liquid brown Shoryuken of death. His body smashes through the ceiling above you and you see a couple of your panicked coworkers jump out of the way. As you land, you decide that maybe two weeks is a little too long to stick around.

Release your rage; this is Toilet Tuesday.


Steve_Von_Till_-_A_Life_Unto_Itself_1426085066

Steve Von Till – A Life Unto Itself (Neurot Recordings) [Folk]
Listen to “In Your Wings”

Before I describe Steve Von Till’s solo album A Life Unto Itself, let me get something out of the way. This isn’t metal. At all. However, there is a palpable gravity to these western dirges that is distinctly Neurosis-esque in nature. Steve Von Till injects every note with a lifetime’s worth of sorrow and longing, and listening to “In Your Wings” is tantamount to watching a tornado destroy everything you love in your dusty little cowboy town. Interestingly, this sounds closer to Scott Kelly’s solo material than it does Von Till’s own Harvestman project. Both are unmistakably heavy in a wind-weathered sort of way. FFO: Scott Kelly and the Road Home, Wino, Townes van Zandt (W.)


sorrow plagues

Sorrow Plagues – An Eternity of Solitude (Independent) [Blackgaze]
Stream

The blackgaze market has become heavily saturated, but that’s no reason to ignore a quality gift horse, especially when it only costs 3 Good Boy Points to look it in the mouth. Sorrow Plagues do well to avoid the often clunky structures of many of their contemporaries by injecting orchestrated bringing-those-feels sections directly into the composition of each song. These little moments of reprieve seem to dangle hope right before the listener’s ears before tearing it away completely. If you like feeling ways about things, don’t skip this. FFO: Violet Cold, Deafheaven, Alcest (W.)


heathen beast

Heathen Beast – The Carnage of Godhra (Transcending Obscurity) [Blackened Death]
Listen

It’s usually pretty hard for me to get excited about a three-song EP (unless you’re called Fuck the Facts and your album is called Abandoned), but I was hooked the moment that first sliding riff came in. Pulling no small amount of influence from the folk music of their native India, Heathen Beast blend nasty blackened death metal with hand drums and sitar to great effect. At a measly $2, this is definitely worth your cash, and it will leave you craving more. (Spear)


Anal Vomit – Peste Negra, Muerte Negra (Icarus Music) [Black/Death/Thrash]
Listen to “Brebaje de Muerte”

Antigama – The Insolent (Selfmadegod) [Grindcore]
Preview

Arcturus – Arcturian (Prophecy Productions) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “The Arcturian Sign”

Armed Cloud – Obsidian Desert (Maxxive Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Jealousy with a Halo”

Cave of Swimmers – Reflection (Independent) [Doom]
Listen to “The Prince of the Power of the Air”

Cerberus – Agony of Damnation (Australis Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Cerberus”

Civil War – Gods and Generals (Napalm Records) [Power Metal]
Preview

Dark Mirror – Patterns of Chaos (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “Desert of Desecration”

Darkmoon – Decline (Non Stop Music) [Blackened Death]

Demon Eye – Tempora Infernalia (Soulseller Records) [Doom]
Stream

Devour the Unborn – Meconium Pestilent Abomination (Amputated Vein) [Slamborghini]
Listen to “Beg For Death”

Domovoyd – Domovoyd (Svart) [Doom]
Listen to “Mystagogue”

Dygitals – Dynamite (Mausoleum Records) [Speed Metal]
Preview

Elm Street – Heart Racer (Massacre Records) [Thrash]
Preview

Ethernal – Reborn as Fire (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen

House of Atreus – The Spear and the Ichor that Follows (Dark Descent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Messenger of a Shaken Host”

The Infernal Sea – The Great Mortality (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Way of the Wolf”

In Heart’s Wake – Skydancer (Rise Records) [Metalcore]
Listen to “Skydancer”

Kamelot – Haven (Napalm Records) [Power-ish Metal]
Listen to “Veil of Elysium”

Kings Destroy – Kings Destroy (War Crime Recordings) [Doom]
Listen to “Mr. O”

Mabthera – On the Infernal Path (Symbol of Domination) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Elhintem A Magot”

Mist – Inan’ (Soulseller Records) [Doom]
Stream

My Grimace – Grim Serenades (Inverse Records) [Deathcore]
Listen to “Grim Serenade”

Parental Advisory – Soundtrack of an Upcoming Apocalypse (Ghastly Musick) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “Dead Rising”

Pitbulls in the Nursery – Equanimity (Klonosphere) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Crawling”

Satan’s Wrath – Die Evil (Metal Blade) [Black Metal]
Listen to “A Mindless Servant of Satan”

Sirenia – The Seventh Life Path (Napalm Records) [Dark Metal]
Listen to “Once My Light”

Six Feet Under – Crypt of the Devil (Metal Blade) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Open Coffin Orgy”

Tovarish – This Terrible Burden (Argonauta Records) [Drone/Noise/Doom/Angry Sounds]
Listen to “Order 227”

Wicked Inquisition – Wicked Inquisition (Tridroid) [Doom]
Listen to “Black Magik Nacht”

Zephyr – Taste the Bomb (New LM Records) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “Red Cloud”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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