This Toilet Tuesday (7/7/15)


The night started out poorly; you and your friends, broke and too lazy to cook, decided to go to the cheapest Chinese buffet in town for supper. You all knew it was a bad idea, but you still weren’t prepared for the sheer repugnance of the cuisine. Enraged by this culinary offense, you decided to exact your vengeance by eating as much of it as possible. The plan worked; after two hours of laying siege to the buffet line, the managers finally came and angrily kicked you out. On your toilet you now sit, king atop your throne, basking in your triumph and awaiting the birth of the new food prince.

As you feel the Goliathan turd start to crown, you relax your bowels to let it work its own way out. Something feels off, however. It’s coming out too easy, almost like it’s pulling itself out. Your concern deepens when you hear tiny grunting sounds coming from inside the bowl. You stand up and bend over to get a better look; indeed, two small, clawed hands have emerged from your anus and are pushing against your buttocks. Before long, a small creature forces its way out and falls to your bathroom floor with a wet thud. This feces golem, this child born of hatred and dubious ethnic food, appears as a wrinkled toddler with the face of an old man. Before you can react, it runs out your door with a nasal cackle. You can only stare at its slimy footprints as you wonder what horror you have set loose upon this world.

Unleash your inner demons on This Toilet Tuesday.

claret ash

Claret Ash – The Cleansing (Independent) [Blackened Death] (7/8/2015)
Listen to “Desolation of a Pierced Soul,” “The Sombre Fields”

2015 has been a good year for black and death metal, and the interbreeding currently happening between the two camps is a marvelous thing to behold. One bastard offspring (with familial traits drawn more clearly from the black metal side) of that hideous mingling is Australia’s insidious Claret Ash. The Cleansing seems poised to liberate you from your mortal coil in a distinctly Aussie fashion: with stinging, biting, clawing, and burning. Surrender to the allure of the violent wilderness. FFO: Desolate Shrine, Immorium, Ashbringer (W.)


Svärta – Sepultus (Aeternitas Tenebrarum) [Feelsy Black Metal] (7/6/2015)

You can’t bring yourself to face the facts, but it’s true. You’re single. Again. “It’s not you, it’s me,” she said. But you know it’s all your fault. It always has been. So you go out for a walk to get some air, to think about things. After some time of wandering through the dusky haze of twilight, you find yourself in a wooded glen. “How did I get here?” you wonder, but before you can really find your bearings, your thoughts are broken by the shriek of a tremendous screech-owl. The owl grasps you in mighty talons and carries you high above the wooded canopy. For an instant, you believe that your winged transport will carry you to the moon, but just as the luminescence of that heavenly sphere becomes nigh unbearable, the owl lets go. You plummet towards the earth below, and all of your feelings, failures, and fears come rushing in. You let go and embrace the sweet oblivion rapidly approaching. You are finally free. FFO: Antlers, Downfall of Nur, Stuff Celtic Frosty Likes (W.)


Undergang – Døden læger alle sår (Dark Descent) [Death Metal] (7/10/2015)

Filth is a word that gets tossed around a lot when discussing death metal of the old school variety, but nobody embodies it quite like Undergang. Their latest, which I’m not even going to attempt to type, sounds like a homeless man who has bathed in shit and wears roadkill to keep himself warm during frigid winter nights in the city while playing instruments made of the bones and tendons of his dead friends. I obviously mean all of that in the best possible way. If you like Autopsy, do yourself a favor and try this one out. (Leif Bearikson)


Surachai – Heavy Mask (Independent) [Electronic/Noise] (7/7/2015)

I was not familiar with this Chicago-based electronic artist before listening, but it seems that Surachai has been steadily cranking out dark, thoughtful music for a few years now. There is lot of variety to digest through the 18 short tracks, but on the whole, the album is unmistakably heavy. Surachai utilizes a great variety in sounds to establish the electronic grooves, and my favorite aspect of the album is the use of an acoustic drum kit in tandem with those grooves. Check out “Weeds Through A Shattered Skull III” for an excellent example. (Stockhausen)


BlackQueen – The Directress (Independent) [Black/Death/Doom] (7/5/2015)
Listen to “The Olde Religion”

Blending traits of metal subgenres can go one of several ways. BlackQueen put a name to their blackened deathened doomened hybrid: “witch metal.” And you know what? I’ll take it. The elements of each style are abundantly clear throughout, and the result is catchy, heavy, and darkly atmospheric. There’s even a little technical flair amidst the satisfying riffage. I can see myself getting lost in the forest with this full length. (Stockhausen)

Aspectra – Aphelion – Perihelion (Independent) [Blackened Death]

Between the Buried and Me – Coma Ecliptic (Metal Blade) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “Memory Palace,” “The Coma Machine”

Bone Gnawer – Cannibal Crematorium (Pulverised Records) [Death Metal]

The Clearing Path – Watershed Between Earth and Firmament (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Holy Waters”

Cradle of Filth – Hammer of Witches (Nuclear Blast) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Enshrined in Crematoria”

Craniotomy – Overgorged Flesh Flies Dying Slowly (Amputated Vein) [Brutal Death/Slam]
Listen to “Butcher’s Flies Are Beautifully Butterflies”

Crepitation – The Violence of the Slams (Amputated Vein) [Probably Slam]
Listen to “Spunkated Rapised Enfuckment” (yeah, pretty sure it’s slam)

Daemoniac – Lord of Immolation (Xtreem Music) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Demonic Possession”

Dark Hound – Oceans (Rampant Struggle Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Oceans”

Debauchery – Fuck Humanity (Massacre Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Ironclad”

Depths – The Mortal Compass (Deadboy Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Blackest Night”

Diabolicum – Ia Pazuzu (The Abyss of the Shadows) (Code666 Productions) [Black Metal]

Dysentery – Fragments (Comatose Music) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “Paranoid Division”

Elvenstorm – Soulreaper (Infernö Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Soulreaper”

The Fateful Hour – All We Leave Behind (Independent) [Gothic/Doom]
Listen to “A Forgotten Existence,” “September 4th”

Fin’amor – Forbidding Mourning (Independent) [Atmospheric Doom]
Listen to “Bleed the Ocean,” “Natura”

Hail – Lawgiver (Ahdistuksen Aihio) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Lawgiver & The Ghost Sword”

Humangled – Prodromes of a Flatline (Bakerteam Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Foretasted in Flesh”

Khemmis – Absolution (20 Buck Spin) [Doom]

Klamm – Ernte (Seventh Star) [Black Metal]

Moonlyght – Return To Desolation (Blasthead Records) [Blackened Death]

My Refuge – A Matter of Supremacy (Bakerteam Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “The Cage (Oh Demon In My Eyes)”

Nachtterror/Altars of Grief – Of Ash and Dying Light (split- Hypnotic Dirge) [Black Metal]
Listen to “In Dying Light” (AoG)

On Top – Topless (Toil Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Lie to Me”

Party Cannon – Bong Hit Hospitalization (Gore House Productions) [Party Slam]
Listen to “Interested is Not the Word,” “Keg Stand By Me”

Screaming Symphony – 211850 (Independent) [Power Metal]

Shardborne – Living Bridges (Out on a Limb Records) [Instrumental Prog]

Turbocharged – Militant (Go Fuck Yourself Productions) [Death Metal]

Veligore – Secret Cult (Broken Bones Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Name of Demon”

Vindictiv – World of Fear (MelodicRock Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Paralyzed”

Violentor – Maniacs (Go Fuck Yourself Productions) [Thrash]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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