Flush it Friday: My Junk
G’day, chums. Welcome back. Yes, if you were wondering. That is me on top of a metal bull, very drunk, in my boxers, in downtown Edmonton. It’s a long story; ask me some other time.
You all know our venerable Flush it Friday tradition, but just in case you’re especially daft, here’s how we roll:
THE GOOD: We post something good about our week/lives/genitalia.
THE BAD: We post something bad about our week/lives/genitalia yeah don’t do that.
THE UGLY: We post pictures of our genitalia.
Too complex? I understand. I too barely passed high school English. Let me provide you with an example to follow.
THE GOOD: Last Saturday (Sunday for the time-travelling lizard among us) we all logged onto our computers (because clearly none of us spend enough time online) and had a TOILET OV HELL G+ HANGOUTS HANGOUT. It was a blast. I got to speak to the Toilet’s own Link Leonhart, W., Time-Travelling Lizard, Time-Travelling Hotel, EsusMoose, and Gurp. I think there were more people in there, but I could barely keep up with the fast pace of the conversation, which was basically the comments section but with more accents. We wore funny hats (including, but not limited to, a banana), we made fun of everyone who wasn’t participating (looking at you, James Jimmy McNulty), and we discussed music in all its forms. If you weren’t there, you’re basically not a person anymore.
THE EXTRA GOOD: (Yeah, I know I didn’t include this bit above. If you have any complaints about me lying to you, contact Joe Thrashnkill at toiletovhell@gmail.com) I’m going to Jasper for a five day camping bender! For those of you who don’t know what Jasper is, take a gander at this little gem:
Look at me gesture to the waters. I was probably talking about some pretentious bullshit here.
That’s right. Five days of no internet, tons of booze, good friends, fresh air, and mountains. If any of you fine Toilet folks make it up to Alberta at any point in your lives and I still happen to be here, I will take you to the mountains for a camping trip. My tent fits two. Three, if those two other people happen to be Christian Molenaar and The Masterlord (because I just want to snuggle them both).
THE BAD: I work at a door company. Specifically, I manage doors and frames for construction projects. Basically my job is comprised of sitting at a desk, writing lots of emails, entering data into a computer, and taking angry phone calls from construction companies wondering why in the most holy of fucks doors are so fucking complicated. I don’t know the answer to that question; all I really know is that doors are way more fucking complicated than you can imagine. Next time you open a door, think about me.
And these are just the doors. Wait until you start learning about frames!
Anyway, all of that was to say that I sit on my ass all day (hence the nonstop, braindead commenting), which means I weigh too much. I also eat too much. And I try to eat less, but then I get hella hungry and go on a rampage for food around my office, which doesn’t lend itself to a positive work environment. I try to exercise, but my gym buddy moved away from Edmonton, and going to the gym by myself is lonely :’(
THE UGLY: THIS BIT IS EXTREMELY NSFW. IT IS A PHOTO OF MY JUNK.
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YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
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JAG approves of one of those things.
Disgusting. I am a disgusting slob and my parents call me daily to remind me just how disappointed in me they are.
So what happened to you all this week? Sound off in the comments below, and I won’t upvote you or respond BECAUSE I’LL BE IN JASPER, MOTHERFUCKERS!!
(All images taken by me or someone I know, except for the door picture which I stole from here)
