Flush It Friday: At the Earth’s Core

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Boy howdy, it’s Friday. Like Doug McClure and Peter Cushing, you’ve finally drilled your way through the obdurate mountain of a work week to plunge into a strange and steamy new locale called the weekend. Get in here and chill out with the wild new flora and fauna as we leap boiling lava pools and liberate slaves from the mental grasp of psychic lizards. Just watch out for Gaak the Hairy One.

In case that intro was insufficiently explicit, I recently watched the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode for 1976 sci-fi film At the Earth’s Core, and I gotta say, I’m pretty jazzed about it. I’ve actually been wanting to see the film since I was a little kid and caught clips of it on the monster movie compilation tape Fantastic Dinosaurs of the Movies, and it’s every bit as cheesy endearing as I had hoped. The creepy crawly score is a great exercise in Carpenterian tension. The story is far more compelling and interesting than the typical fare on MST3K (likely due to the fact that the film is based on a 1914 Edgar Rice Burroughs novel), and the acting is surprisingly on point. Peter Cushing as a doddering professor who happens to be crackerjack with a bow and arrow is a delight, and nothing can beat the raw erotic kavorka of peak Doug McClure. Not even Caroline Munro doing her best to outshine Raquel Welch circa One Million Years BC

Well, maybe one thing can beat the pure animal magnetism of McClure’s chiseled chin and broad shoulders, and that thing is these two fatass pig monsters having a little scrape over who gets to eat the succulent flesh of man first. Yes, even in a film featuring a rad Gappa-like bird monster, a fire-belching gassy boy, and Doug McClure’s chest, the thing that got me most hot and/or bothered were these two hairy pig men in hairier, piggier rubber suits battling it out. This is what I live for.


So yeah, if you’re hankering for some sweaty giant manpig on giant manpig action, do yourself a favor and hunt down At the Earth’s Core.

But enough but that, we’ve got highlights to share and turds to flush.

Good: The conference I’m planning in September is almost at its registration target with a few more weeks to go, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Bad: My wife got sick (on her birthday no less), and then I got sick. I’ve had ear infection-type symptoms all week, to the point that it’s been hard to wear my earbuds and jam tunes for long. So not much metal for me this week.

Ugly: Yesterday, my dog went out into the backyard to poop. Unfortunately, all the grass she was chomping on earlier reacted with the treats I gave her while we were doing some training exercises, and the poor thing unleashed fecal hell in a circle around her. I wouldn’t be upset about that except as she was turning to relieve some of her bowel tension, she stepped in some of the liquid crap she had just vacated, so I had to take some wet wipes and clean deep into her paw pad before letting her back in. It didn’t gross me out that much, actually, so I guess you perverts are rubbing off on me.

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What else happened this week? Oh yeah.

Mosh Hoff did a bizarre performative dance to prove his own idiocy.

Nails Play Death Metal. Change My Mind.

The Conductor got down and dirty with Noisem.

Voices In The Morgue: An Interview With Noisem

Justin Thunder Lager took us on a trip down memory road.

HEAVY METAL ODDITIES: IT CAME FROM THE 80’S UNDERGROUND

BW worked in tandem with Agenda 21 and those river-blocking libs to grow the fires in California.

Five New Death Metal Bands Destroying Southern California

Last, Joe dumped them out for Steel Panther.

Pedal Stains: The Pussy Melter

Alright, flusherinos, the bowl is yours. have a great and sweaty weekend, everyone!

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