This Toilet Tuesday (7/28/15)
Tonight has been painful. You had a bad day at work, your house is a mess, and your friend has decided to drag you to a show with nothing you’re even remotely interested in. You’ve decided the best way to cope with the terrible local bands is to drink until they sound good. The good news is that it seems to be working; this stoner band actually seems kind of catchy now that your brain is moving slow enough to appreciate it. The bad news is that you’re five pints in and need to piss like a racehorse. You know the bathrooms here are rarely cleaned, but you can’t avoid it any longer. You finish your beer and head to the restroom.
A stench more rancid than usual hits you immediately. Coughing, you try waving away some of the thick odor, but to no avail. This toilet has clearly not been flushed in days, and there’s a weird coppery undertone to the pungent scent. You step over a small pool of suspect liquid to the stall door and push it open. You do not expect the horrific scene before you. The ragged torso of a man is suspended above the toilet, blood and viscera dripping from where his legs should be. He appears to be plastered to the wall with a strange yellowish goo. Impossibly, the man is still alive. His arms twitch violently as he gasps for air, perhaps to scream, perhaps to beg for death. You start to back out of the stall, and bump into something hard. You never see it though. Before you can turn, before you can shout for help, before anything, you feel a sharp pain in the back of your head and see a black spike suddenly protrude from your forehead. Your tattered brain manages one final thought before darkness consumes you: I need better friends.
Don’t let your destiny be shaped by others. Welcome to This Toilet Tuesday.
Barshasketh – Ophidian Henosis (Blut & Eisen Prod) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ophidian Henosis IV”
As much as I like discovering new music and new sounds, I occasionally find myself overwhelmed by the sheer volume of metal bands out there. It’s times like these that I like to turn to the familiar and put in something I know I can take solace in and enjoy. While I hadn’t heard the name Barshasketh prior to last weekend, their sound is something we’ve all heard before; lots of tremolo-picked riffs, blasting, and melancholy harmonies. Though that may sound like a condemnation, it’s this familiarity that made “IV” so instantly enjoyable for me. The music carries plenty of emotional heft, and all the instruments sound excellent. If you need to simply sit back and lose yourself in some black metal, then look no further. (Spear)
Kataklysm – Of Ghosts and Gods (Nuclear Blast) [Melodeath]
Listen to “The Black Sheep,” “Marching Through Graveyards”
I know there aren’t too many melodeath fans lurking around these parts, but I for one quite enjoyed Kataklysm’s last output, Waiting for the End to Come. Their newest, Of Ghosts and Gods, goes along the same lines as that album, but with a slightly more eclectic sound. The production is largely the same (for better or worse), but each song is quite distinct from the others. “The Black Sheep” is loaded with groove, whereas “Marching Through Graveyards” blazes by on more traditional melodeath riffs. Most of the album is online at this point, and I believe the whole thing will be on Youtube come July 31. I doubt it’ll be earning Kataklysm any new fans, but it’s a fun outing with plenty of headbangability. (Spear)
Perversor – Anticosmocrator (Hell’s Headbangers) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Bestial Path”
Perversor is here to pervert your mind and twist your limbs with blackened death and thrashing riffs. A nonstop assault of blasting drum barrage and sharp riffs ‘neath raspy growls. Perversor is madness. Perversor is hate. Perversor is the unrelenting chaos unto which even the strongest submit. (Bearing Paddles of Ritegod)
Shroud of the Heretic – Unorthodox Equilibrium (Iron Bonehead) [DOOOOM]
Listen to “Sprawling Black Mass Consummation,” “Metempsychosis”
From the moment I pressed play, I knew that this was going to be the kind of doom that tickles my pickle. “Sprawling Mass Consummation” is huge, booming, cavernous. Every drum beat, every riff, and every belch from the elephantine throat of the swollen underworld hits you with an otherworldly gravity unseen in even the heaviest of Shroud of the Heretic‘s contemporaries. The pivoting dynamics are an excellent touch that shows these bastard sons of Canaan have more up their sleeves than the average doom band. FFO: AEvangelist, Incantation, Catacombs (W.)
Veilburner – Noumenon (Independent) [Blackened Death]
Listen to “Ever Relapsing Fever”
The esoteric Veilburner have returned hot on the heels of last year’s warmly received debut The Three Lightbearers. “Ever Relapsing Fever” opens with a military march and a spoken word declaration that sets the stage for the insanity that follows. When the actual song goes into full swing, it quickly becomes evident that this band refuses to play it safe. Schizophrenic vocals swing wildly between pitches, elastic chords bounce and reflect off each other, and the drums pound the ground with a dystopian fury. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the album. FFO: Grethor, Autokrator, Jute Gyte (W.)
A Loathing Requiem – Acolytes Eternal (Artisan Era) [Tech Death]
Listen to “Prismatic Delusion”
Antarcht – Bastard Dawn (HOTA Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Deified Consumption”
Arcano Arconte – A Espera da Morte (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “A Espera da Morte”
Archer – Culling the Weak (Rough Trade Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Belief”
Dalit – Descent (Endtime Productions) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Descent”
Dark Plague – When the Last Christians Die (Fallen Angels Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Frozen Years”
Dark Warrior – The End of Peace (Pacheco Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Torture, Blood, Kill”
Dawn of Chaos – The Need to Feed (Ukem Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Abominatrix”
Festering – From The Grave (Caverna Abismal Records) [Death Metal]
Stream
Giza – Migration (Independent) [Sludge]
Listen to “Cenotaph”
Godhunter/Destroyer of Light – Godhunter vs. Destroyer of Light: Endsville (Battleground Records) [Doom]
Stream
Golden Bats/The Steady As She Goes – Cities (Independent) [Sludge/Doom]
Stream
Goya – Obelisk (Independent) [Doom]
Listen to “No Place in the Sky”
Hollow World – The Wrath Kept Within (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “The Wrath Kept Within”
In Dread Response – Heavenshore (Dreadstorm Media Ltd) [Melodeath]
Preview
Iron Kingdom – Ride For Glory (Independent) [Speed Metal]
Listen to “The Samurai”
Krotchripper – Stalactite Cunt Shrine (Sevared Records) [Brutal Death]
Listen
Meta-Stasis – The Paradox of Metanoia (Depraved Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Disintegrate”
Midgard – We Are The Destroyer (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Kaleidoscopic”
My Hollow – On Borrowed Time (Independent) [Metalcore]
Listen to “On Borrowed Time”
Nebiros – VII (Folter Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Staruch”
Necropsy – Buried in the Woods (Xtreem Music) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Buried in the Woods”
Nihilistic Legion – The Hunt (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Destroying the Temples of the Gods”
Obsidian – Time Erodes (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “My War”
Ogotay – Dead God’s Prophet (Selfmadegod) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Dead God’s Prophet”
One With Nothing – Misanthropic (Independent) [Death Metal]
Stream
Reduced – Gradually Executed (Dismembered Records) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “Pleasure of Eating Rotting Bodies”
Rygel – Revolution (Power Prog Records) [Thrash]
Listen
Skialykon – Vestigio (Naturmacht Productions) [Ambient Black Metal]
Stream
Social Black Yelling – Naluri Pembunuh (Play Loud Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Ilusi Layar Mistik”
Strife Machine – Esotericism (Independent) [lolbuttz]
Stream
Subterranean Birthright – Ostracism (Speed Ritual Records) [Black Metal]
Stream
System Overthrow – System Overthrow (Independent) [Thrash]
Preview
Ultha – Pain Cleanses Every Doubt (Ecocentric Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Crystalline Pyre”
Vulvodynia – Finis Omnium Ignorantiam (Vicious Instinct Records) [Brutal Death]
Listen
Witchgrinder – Haunted (Firestarter Music) [Industrial Groove Metal]
Listen to “Bloodlust”
Xandria – Fire & Ashes (Napalm Records) [Symphonic Metal]
Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!
(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)
