Exclusive Video Premiere: Thunderkok’s “Parental Erection” (NSFW)

October 25, 2024

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“We’re gonna be talking about THE PENIS!” – Coach Buzzcut, Beavis and Butthead

Writer’s Note: This article contains NSFW language and content. If you get yelled at for reading this while at work, that’s on you.

The penis has always been an integral part of the metal ethos. No matter how much black metal dorks posture as gay-bashing “hessians,” metal was built upon the foundation of cock. If singer-songwriter records come from the heart, heavy metal albums come from the urethra. From Faith No More writing about the joys of fellatio to Accept loudly exclaiming how their balls (and, by extension, penis) were firmly planted against the wall, the beefheart has always been represented in all of its engorged beauty. Even in more extreme metal spaces, bands like Sabbat (JPN), Sarcòfago, and Cannibal Corpse have all shown love to the engorged one. To be honest, it seems most men (gay or otherwise) are intrinsically gravitated to the penis.

That’s what separates Thunderkok from your average joke metal band.

In fact, I’m usually not a fan of comedy metal. It mostly feels like a contrived and desperate way to promote a band that otherwise has nothing to provide to the metal scene at large, other than jokes that make Lil Dicky look like Bill Hicks. I feel that Thunderkok focusing on a time-honored metal topic makes this metal goofball grouping go down with minimal gagging. After all, is the prospect of being chased around by a giant cock-crypted that far off from the previously mentioned Sarcòfago loudly exclaiming “Stand up to see / My penetrator hammer…” (on second thought, don’t answer that)? Either way, the music video for “Parental Erection” is a low budget send up of classic horror like Evil Dead, with the previously mentioned perverted prospects. With plenty of beer, penis pentagrams, and bloodletting via Creed CDs, I’ll be the first to admit that Thunderkok was able to illicit laughter from me (let’s not think about what that says about me).

That said, this is a metal blog, so let’s address the music on showcase, rather than just be fixated on the buckets of jizz being fired haphazardly in the music video. Stylistically, the band describe themselves as specifically heavy metal – but I hear a lot of Overkill in this track. That NWOBHM-infused early-thrash is the vibe I get, but I also hear plenty of classic heavy metal in the flashy leads and psuedo-King Diamond vocals (although I seriously do think he sounds way more like Bobby “Blitz” Ellsworth of Overkill). Either way you slice it (please don’t slice it), this song goes harder than it probably has any right to. In fact, it’d probably be something I’d show my buddies if it wasn’t for… you know…

Ribbing (for your pleasure) aside, let’s hear from Thunderkok themselves:

Thunderkok is a heavy metal band from Ontario, Canada, transitioning from local shower to global grower. They say men do it best because they’re familiar with the tool they’re working with, and that’s a truth you can spank it to cause the dudes in Thunderkok have been gripping the girth of guitar necks and drum sticks since their 2016 release “Trigger Warning.” And you can hear the passion.

Eight years, countless shows, and three releases later, Thunderkok gave birth to their best effort yet, “Life is a Nightmare.” A self-released, nine-track album, Life is a Nightmare doesn’t shy away from the nitty-gritty that makes adulthood an existential hell.

The melodic leads and rocky sensibilities of the band’s sound offer listeners a familiar blend of NWOBHM’s elite performers like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. The band is also known for their stage antics and gimmicks. Often bringing characters and special effects to the stage to elevate the already electrifying show into an experience, much like the stadium bands who inspire them.

“‘You ever go digging through your parent’s basement looking for a tape to record a sick episode of Duck Tales, but when you throw it in that tape player, it ends up being a lost VHS featuring a heavy metal band meeting their gruesome end at the hands of a cryptid with penis like appendages? Now’s your chance – Thunderkok presents Parental Erection.”

Fantastic, I’ll be seeing that monstrous member in my nightmares (making the album title quite fitting). If I had to watch the music video, you do too: