Flush it Friday: the Angry Venezuelan Edition


Welcome to Venezuela! Beware your hearts because you will be angry until you have a stroke!

Okay, I was asked to make this edition of the Flush It Friday column, and I think that my benevolent friends in this dear blog (made of toilet and people that love toilets) are just simply masochists. I never wanted to make a Flush it Friday, because I complain a lot and I live in a peculiar land.

Why you should mind to read Venezuelan rants? I mean, our reality is very bad and we only know about death and despair and all of that black merol things you think to listen daily… Oh, so that’s why

So, here we are. I start and then you shoot your crap. Just be quiet, read and imagine all of that because you’re entering my Venezuelan dimension:


Let’s ventilate the bad first. If you’re part of the #LinkFanClub (I still don’t know why did you made a Fan Club of a spaghetti-finger Venezuelan lol) you know that one of the worst things of my life is the marvelous public transport.

Public transport in Maracaibo is a perfect example of how a bad system can punish and decapitate the user. It’s all bad and needs a nuclear blast to end this misery.

We have three types of vehicles: microbuses, buses and “carritos por puesto”, which are really old cars that you pay per spot.

Iugh! I risked my phone to take this filthy picture.

Iugh! I risked my phone to take this filthy picture.

To get to my work I have to take two of those “carritos”, but since the dollar issue in the country and the high inflation of our currency every day that pass is worse and more painful to use the system: the drivers say that they can’t find auto parts to fix their engines, to acquire tires they have to make one night line in a tire store to buy one or two (if they find) at the regulated price by government law and, since a few weeks ago, they have to make lines in gasoline stations, because Maracaibo is a frontier city with Colombia the local government implemented a chip to regulate the gas buys for all the regular users (to try to fight the gas smuggling).

Since this is happen, less and less public transport is working. According to the local news data, there are nearly 11.000 vehicles less in the city because the drivers can’t fix their old cars. And, since Maracaibo has a high population too, this entire problem translates into a very angry Link doing 1 and half hour line to get one “carrito”.

Or, sometimes I just have to push people while trying to get an overcrowded bus to try to reach the work at the right time (I work in a place that if I came late, I got discounts in the payment). For example: this morning was raining and some wild bus appeared and the people ran into the bus entrance and they were pushing and fighting each other to enter. It’s just sad; I don’t tend to use those buses because it’s a sad feeling that I have to run to an overcrowded vehicle and being pushed to go standing and squeezed by random people. And what I can tell you about the music? Today I had my daily dose of reggaeton, champeta, vallenato and regular changa (if you need the songs I can share them!); and yes, it’s not a great feeling being in a slow bus, with full dirty music blasting at 200 % volume in your ear and sharing your personal space with disgusting comrades. I don’t know how people here are used to this crap…

Of course, I don’t have money to buy a car (one old and bad car costs here the same as houses, sometimes) and I can’t take taxis regularly because I have to save money to pay those for when I have to give classes in the University or when I have to go to the Master classes.

I have a lot of other rants, but, this sucks because I have to wake up earlier (and that costs me a lot because if I don’t sleep enough I have headaches and dizziness) and return late to the #LinkCave. I have stuff to do when I return home and I can’t do all of that because when I reach the cave I’m so tired that I just want to die.



In resume, since the economic side of the country is getting worse and worse, it seems that this is a problem that will not get solved in this year, or in the other, or maybe in the other. Venezuela is having serious issues with the government controls of the foreign exchange, we are a mono-production country that has to import everything because we never had a State, only governments that just take populist takes to get the votes and enjoy the vacations with the taxes. Right now, we have three official foreign exchange rates (one of them it’s for the regular consumption but it’s very broken and inefficient), implemented by current economic team of president Maduro, and one “black market” dollar rate that it’s higher than ever (last week, reaching 420 Bolívares per dollar and unleashing dank memes at the same time).

I told you!

I told you!


My emotions and sentiments have been a roller coaster since last months; sometimes I can feel pumped, but other I feel very down; it’s not depression, it’s just that I’m a melancholic type of person and I’m sensitive with everything in my surrounds (which sucks because I live in a city with a lot of contamination and bad looking people). Living here alone in Maracaibo have been an experience that it’s really modeling, helping and torturing me at the same time. I like to see the good stuff too.

First of all, I finally have an A.C. and it rulz and freeze my buttz.

My family is doing okay! And I’m having a lot of support from my dad, my mom and the lovely Mrs. Leonhart. This weekend I will travel to my hometown since months, and I will get some delicious food, hugs and relaxing time.

I’m doing my best in work and studies, and even when I feel down some days, I still try to make my living worth it. In the end of all of this crappy reality, that’s what it matters: try harder, always, so your effort worth every second.

Link spaguetti's finger seal of approval: you rulz!

Link spaguetti’s finger seal of approval: you rulz!

My Toilet time is helping me a lot too. This week I’ve counting the new releases that I’m listening and I’m very amazed of how much music I’m consuming! It’s insane and it’s too much! I really thank you all for your daily recommendations; I’m tuning even more my sounds sensibilities and my critical thinking of what I like and what I don’t. I’m very grateful that this community exists, because I feel less stressed in my daily job and with my regular emotional changes. But, this “job” of writing and sharing with you is a great escape to all the crappy stuff. Thank you all for being here and for all your good vibes! You rule!

Also, I’m learning to play Dungeons & Dragons with my friends. This weekend we will have the second part of our campaign and I’m very excited because I’m a grumpy young dwarf that likes to send people to the air!

And, for the final good words. Today it rained. Thanks, Mother Earth.

My two plants are very happy!

My two plants are very happy!


My right earphone broke up and now I have to hear my music with just one earplug. It sucks.

Also, there are new co-workers here and are worse than the last programmers we had in the area, because those are young interns that talk too much about nerdy stuff (I love nerdy stuff, but I’m not shouting everyday about it!), have that obnoxious Maracaibo accent and are very lousy. Flush those guys.

Also, they have disgusting faces and voices. Flush those guys, one more time.

Sing with me: “FLUSH THE INTERNS!”

 Random note ov the week:

I ran out of Toilet paper 🙁 It sucks to clean your pupú without it.

Aaaand, given the scarcity of dollars, if you (the international bunch) come to my country, you’re more than received because with 10 dollars you can pay like 5 good meals in Maracaibo. Imagine what can you do with 300 dollars!!!

Bring it!

Bring it!

Uff! This was a very lengthy column, excuse me about that!

So, you know what’s up next: revel your issues, share the goodness, kill some malandros, denounce the shitty co-workers and remember to us the ugly face of our reality and how you combat it.

“Life is an adventure, my comrades, you just have to play your role and let it roll!”

Link Leonhart (2015).

Featured photo by: Atif Saeed VIA

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!