More than Metalocalypse: Get Your Fix of Heavy Metal Cartoons
Greetings, true deceivers. Sarah here, with happy news for those of you still depressed about Adult’s Swim’s ultra lame decision on a Metalocalypse end mini series. (I know, I’m upset too.) But don’t be too down in the dumps, my fellow fans of disturbing animated violence. Thankfully there are still a lot of shows out there that glorify blood, guts, and heavy metal. They may be older, a bit less current, or just fucking weird, but I’m into that. So without further ado, here’s a list of my favorite ridiculous cartoons that hopefully will eat an afternoon of your time.
Superjail
Status: Currently Televised
Where can I watch: Adult Swim
Seasons: 4
As violent as our beloved Metalocalypse, Superjail offers blood and guts to a level that would be illegal in certain countries (such as China, which does not allow skeletons). It’s a psychedelic show in terms of level of detail, so don’t watch this during an acid trip or you’re gonna have a bad time. Or if you do, please write about it so we can all learn from your mistakes. The show is about a prison that is guarded by an insane cast of characters. In each episode, something happens that results in a ton of inmates being killed. That’s the jist of it, really. There’s a lot of murder in this show, so don’t watch if you’re squeamish. In fact, if you’re squeamish, you probably shouldn’t read the rest of my recommendations because you’re a giant pussy and I hate you.
Detroit Metal City
Status: Not Current
Where can I watch: Hulu
Seasons: 1
Only 13 twelve-minute episodes of this glorious show exist, but they’re all pretty magnificent. The story centers around a dude who wants to sing pop music akin to the mumble-groan stylings of Zooey Deschanel, only to become a successful death metal musician in corpse paint for one of the most popular metal bands in Japan. There’s violence, music, and humor sprinkled throughout. Some very tongue-in-cheek jabs are thrown at the metal community, so take it in stride. We’re a bunch of fucking weirdos, after all. (Note: There is also a live action version, but we’ll talk about it some other time.)
Mr. Pickles
Status: Current
Where can I watch: Adult Swim
Seasons: 1
A favorite among the Toilet’s writers, this delightful show about a boy and his adorable dog includes demonic possession, gratuitous violence, and sex. Watch as the super cute Mr. Pickles molests his owner, Tommy’s mother, plays pranks on Tommy’s grandpa, and unleash horrible vengeance upon anyone who attempts to harm Tommy. Also, Brooke Shields is in it.
Korgoth of Barbaria
Status: Not Current
Where can I watch: YouTube
Seasons: 0
Sadly, this amazing pilot was never picked up, likely due to the fact that Adult Swim didn’t need TWO hyper violent shows at the time (I know, what?). Korgoth is one of the best, most hilarious cartoons I’ve ever seen. It centers around Korgoth, a barbarian in the distant future who goes around killing for money. He’s voiced by Deidrich Bader, who you might recall also voiced Batman in Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Watch as Korgoth saves maidens, kills monsters, and spreads carnage and violence throughout the lands. It’s only about 22 minutes, which is annoying, because this would have made an amazing series.
Heavy Metal
Status: Movie, 1981
Where can I watch: Amazon
If you’ve never seen the classic animated film, Heavy Metal, do it. Back in my day, this was a child’s gateway drug to the world of boobs and metal. It’s definitely not the best movie ever made, but the soundtrack and boobs alone are worth it. Watch as John Candy awkwardly transforms from a nerd into a barbarian! Marvel upon a female warrior battling to the music of Black Sabbath! This movie is actually a compilation of short stories, so you can pause in between each one to grab more beer. The soundtrack features Journey, BOC, and Grand Funk Railroad. It’s a weird combo. Also, Sammy Hagar did the theme song. Did I mention boobs?
Tokyo Ghoul
Status: Current
Where can I watch: Hulu
Seasons: 2
I apologize in advance for not adding the ten million violent anime I can think of, but that shit would take me all day. Instead, I’ll end my list with three anime that are both violent and easily accessible online. The first, Tokyo Ghoul, is sort of a play on zombies. Ghouls need human meat to live and don’t eat normal food (except coffee, just go with it) but struggle to survive in a world that hates them. Not that I can blame people for hating cannibal monsters who grow giant magical appendages that can kill people. Sounds weird? It’s weird. And violent. Check it out on Hulu.
Parasyte: The Maxim
Status: Current
Where can I watch: Crunchyroll
Seasons: 2
Ever think about what it would be like to share your body with a parasite that can talk? Well, neither did our protagonist, who wakes up one morning to discover that he somehow managed to avoid an “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” type situation. Instead, he winds up with a parasite in his hand that can transform into a horrific claw weapon, which he uses to defend himself against man-eating aliens that take over brains. Lots of juicy violence and some disturbing visuals.
The Future Diary
Status: Not Current
Where can I watch: Hulu
Seasons: 2
It’s tough out there for girls. Sometimes, the only way to get the man you’re after is to stalk him until you break his spirit. This is the story of two young lovers who find themselves engaged in a game. The goal: to kill everyone else playing. The weapon: a diary that tells the future. The prize: to become god. Sound weird? It is, but damn if it isn’t violent. Don’t you wish you had a cute girl with pink hair to obsess over you to the point of murder?
Animated Metal Music Videos
Where can I watch: YouTube
There’s a bunch of great bands who have paid the ultimate price (to Satan, I imagine) in order to have some kick ass animated music videos. X Japan‘s “Rusty Nail” is one of my favorites, but Disturbed also put out a video for their cover of “Land of Confusion” that’s reminiscent of Spawn. Slayer’s “World Painted Blood” is more of an animatic, but still brings back memories of our beloved Metalocalypse. More recently, A Sound of Thunder released a music video for “Udoroth” that involves demons, blood, and yes, you guessed it, boobs.
Well, that’s my list. Did I miss some of your favorites? Calm the fuck down, I don’t have time to see every fucking cartoon there is. Link them in the comments!
