Riff Of The Week: Red Edition


Roses are red,
These riffs are too.
Today you must vote,
To flush down the shit.

Before we get all red in the face, let’s check the results from last week’s Skull Edition. For the second week in a row it came down to a single vote separating the top two entries, and for the second week in a row a newcomer took home the victory. Normally, I’d express my disdain at the winning riff but Horrendous are top quality, so I’ll just continue repeating incantations from this tattered scroll I found on the off chance everyone who didn’t vote for my riff is struck down with an anachronistic strain of tuberculosis, rendering them unable to participate in future competitions and/or life. Everyone needs some kind of hobby.

This week our theme was RED. Now, as this was deliberately more ambiguous than our usual strict submission guidelines, we expected your natural flair for creativity to shine through. Let’s see how that went. Remember when casting your vote to use the PROMO CODE CANKER to cut anywhere up to 26 years off your mortgage courtesy of our friends at Premature Death Brokers – “We’ll Save You A Lifetime!“.


Immortal – “Storming Through Red Clouds And Holocaustwinds” (Riff @ 1:42)



Faith No More – “Cuckoo For Caca” (Riff @ 1:44)

Well… The cover of the album is red, so there you go. Enjoy your stay at the Red Riff Inn. Please excuse the bed bugs. Riff @1:44. Bass does it first, the guitar joins in. It rules


Austrian Death Machine – “Prepare To Be Conquered” (Riff @ 2:34)

Hey it’s a lovesong to Conan the Barbarian’s on and off again girlfriend,  Red Sonja, and it’s actually really epic.

Lone Biker Of The Apocalypse

Pig Destroyer – “Red Tar” (Riff @ 2:20)

Last week I red in ROTW, (sorry, couldn’t resist) that “xtuffxghostx” stated that Scott Hall is a riff machine, and that’s all there is to say.  I completely agree, but I’m about to say more, so I guess I disagree…  but if anybody would like to hear what Scott Hull could bring to the table in a doom band, then definitely click on the link.  RIff starts at 2:20.


Red Fang – “Throw Up” (Riff @ 0:00)

Probably the least creative way of approaching this theme, but the opening riff to this song is so good, I couldn’t help it.

Howard Dean

Slough Feg – “Vargr Moon” (Riff @ 0:32)

This is a band that is very good and not bad. This album is also very good and not bad. This song here, also very good and not bad. And what of this riff? This is a riff about which I would say, ‘this is a riff that is very good and not at all bad.’ Riff at 0:32. Please note: In an ode to either retro tabletop board games or to the little girl in the dress from the film Schindler’s List, the striking accent color on the black and-white album art is RED (also good and not bad).

Ted Nu-Djent

Red Dragon Cartel – “Deceived” (Riff @ 0:00)

The old man in me loves the riff that opens the track (please help, There’s an old man stuck in me). The rest of the album is pretty forgettable because Jake E Lee must have decided that using only one riff from Bark At The Moon was enough.


Henosis – “The Red Key” (Riff @ 3:07)

The recent remaster of the Chilean band’s deadly 2016 debut brought with it not only an upgraded mix but a change to the awesome album art as well, the once ivory ouroborian temple had been splattered a crimson red. When you hear the riff at 3:07 you’ll see why this change is apt as fuck.

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Next week, to celebrate the site’s 3rd birthday we’re going to be taking submissions from the third track of a band’s third album only (bonus points if it falls within the third minute). Send your entries to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com by Friday, making sure to include a time-stamp of the riff, your screen-name and a short description.

(Image via)

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