Riff of the Week: The Hologram Edition


The Masterlord blew it again, so now you’re stuck with me.

Last week, our Venezuelan friend Link saw victory with his elf eyes and stole the trophy out of the Masterlord’s grubby, oddly knotty hands. Well done, Link. And shame on you, Masterlord.

Today, we’re voting on riffs from departed metal guitarists. Since most of you have no imagination and are totally cool with murder, I think we know who the winner will be. Pick whomever gives you the biggest nostalgia boner, I guess.

Next week, we’re doing Stanky Riffs. As Joe envisioned, this is a riff that references some kind of smell. There are a lot of metal songs about sniffin’ dead people, so get to it. Send a riff, time stamp, and description to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com.



There’s likely a whole heapin’ helpin’ of stupidly predictable riffs in today’s contest, so rather than going with a more recognizable jam from one of the many, many metal guitarists venerated variably as a god, angel, legend, etc. after their death, I’ve selected a more recent riff from a young musician who had a truly promising future. In his short career, Dimesland’s Drew Cook penned some truly monstrous riffs that sound like space-time bending at the will of his sorcery. The opening riff (at about 0:08) of “Institutional Gears” in particular shows off Drew’s ability to rein in chaos as he deftly dives from stuttering start/stops to twisting thrash. RIP Drew.


Tertius Decimus

As November’s Doom Paul Kuhr once said, mourn not he loss, honour the memory. Juhani Palomäki of Yearning and Colosseum (1977-2010). Start at 3:04.


Akerskronks ov Steele

Lyke dis if u cry evertim. Especially at 1:56.



Drink to forget, and drink to remember Miika Tenkula. Or just drink and enjoy! Riff starts at 2:15.


Elegant Gazing Globe

Vote in memory of Jon Nodtveidt, who’s life ended 10 years ago today, August 13, 2006. Among an entire record of outstanding riffs from start to finish, the riff at 4:51 off the title track from the band’s debut, full length classic The Somberlain, is, was, and will always remain one of the most timeless riffs in all of metal’s history.


Sy Klone

I am Sy Klone, a long term lurker who is starting to (obviously) not lurk as much. The submitted riff below is by the ridiculously missed Mieszko Talarczyk, who was lost in a Tsunami more than a decade ago. The man is THE definition of a riffmeister, but the one riff that I always wished would be repeated a lot longer than it actually was is at the 0:04 mark of the video below. Also, since I’m not lurking 100% anymore, the title of my selection is also quite fitting. [Vote for this riff, you dolts. – W.]


Boss the Ross

Johnny Ramone is a fallen warrior, let us pay homage to him by hailing the almighty RIFF! No frills, no bullshit, just RIFF. On top of that we get a Clockwork Orange reference. I will collect my prize now, thank you.



This song’s intro riff (which comes back HARD at 2:04) is just super. Thanks for all the great riffing and screaming, Mieszko Talarczyk.



Well I wanted to be clever, but I racked my brain for deceased guitarists other than Cliff Burton and Dimebag, and came up with dick-all.

But hark! What do mine jaded ears hear, but the daily dose of “Crazy Train” on the local dadrock station–Randy Rhoads! Of course! To hell with Crazy Train, and to hell with Quiet Riot, this is Rhoads’ finest hour. Suicide Solution not only sent literally THOUSANDS of kids to their deaths (or probably none), but features a killer baseline riff throughout. The man influenced Dimebag, so by the rules of Metal Math, this must win.





Now Choose!

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