Riff ov the Week: 8-15-15


Look, I forgot that I had to do this shit and it’s late as shit and I need to wake up early in the morning to do some shit, so I’m just going to get right down to this shit. Got a few real good ones this week!

Last week, Mr. Joe obviously destroyed all competition in the one-word-chorus edition by selecting the mighty “Panama”. God dammit. Well played.

Next week:

  • Here’s an idea. Forgot who sent it in. Sorry. OUT-OF-PLACE RIFFS. It’s gotta sound out of place. I dunno, man. For whatever reason, it doesn’t sound like it belongs. I’ll leave it at that and leave it to you. But it fucking better sound out of place. And you better explain why, dammit.
  • Send your out-of-place riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link, the time of the riff, and your explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know.
  • Riff on, warriors.



One of the greatest riffs in all of black metal. Start at the 1:30, listen to the end of the song. COLD.



One of black metal’s most unique and underrated bands. Pure gold. And that riff at 0:45 UNFFF..!


Ted Nü-Djent

I remembered recently that Soulfly were due to release another album of rehashed boring by the numbers crap soon which got me thinking about a time when Max Cavalera wrote great, memorable riffs. Before I knew it I was revisiting the early Sep releases on my way to and from work, head banging, air drumming, air guitaring and generally having a blast while the rest of the traffic were stuck, miserable in their cars. The first Sep song that ever hooked me was “Dead Embryonic Cells” and it was the riff that started at about 3:08.
That really hit the spot.



The riff, which begins at about 2:57 and repeats at about 4:46, is not so much dick crushing as it is heartbreaking. The pairing of the steady blast beat with the slow, hypnotic harmonies creates an awesome effect, and the sort of plodding bass line ties everything together nicely. This riff brings the feels, but it brings them with the impact of a bag full of explosive claw hammers. Also, the rest of the song crushes dicks.


Kim Jong Un

Yes, this is Kim Jong Un who submitted this. Rub your eyes again to make sure, motherfucker! NYEAH!



Obsequiae released this album earlier this year and for me, it has been growing stronger and stronger with each listen. There is something majestically pleasing about their style. The riff around 1:30 swells within me. Let its beauty enchant your vote in this direction.



Really digging Judicator‘s latest. Tasty galloping licks begin around 0:20 and fade in and out of the song, with a few great tempo changes. Your power metal hate only makes me stronger!


Ron Deuce

The opening riff from Hatred Surge’s “Dark Circles” needs no explanation. It repeats itself over blast beats and breakdowns throughout its duration. If you’ve ever had the urge to punch somebody, this is the soundtrack for when you take that swing. Vote Power Violence this Saturday!



This one’s a dimmadarn classic! Riff comes at 0:24.


Howard Dean

A lot of bands in extreme metal have burning contempt for the Abrahamic religions. But no band expresses that hate as convincingly as Grand Belial’s Key. Their riffs are religious hatred manifest. GBK is the total package. You can hear the hate and disgust in the vocals, in the energy of the musical delivery, and most importantly, in the riffs themselves. They positively drip with contempt. The song “It Bribes The Heavens” mocks the Judaic rite of Kapparot, and it has one of those amazing, hateful riffs that runs throughout the entire song–in several variations. First, the riff is slow and ominous. Birds squawk. Dogs bark. Cattle moo in distress. A rabbi recites an ancient rite. Creepy shit. But then it all bursts. The vocals explode. The drums pound. The guitar speeds up, carving the air with sonic waveforms of fury. Masterful. The variation of the main riff that plays at 4:24 is particularly charged and emotive. Wow.



Crawl out of your grave at 8:07. Apparently, it’s all about that treble.



Valfar, du var en ekte kriger! Intro riff.





Lord Hugequad

Fucking heavy, bro.


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