This Toilet Tuesday (1/26/16)

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It’s lunchtime, and you’re ravenous. You skipped breakfast this morning and worked all day without a break; you are ready to demolish anything that looks even remotely edible. Fortunately for you, you just discovered a small Vietnamese restaurant that runs a pho special today, so you head there straight after work. Within a few short minutes of arriving, you have a bowl of steaming noodle soup before you bigger than your head. It’s barely on the table before you dive in. A small voice in the back of your head warns you against putting so much spicy liquid into your empty stomach, but you ignore it. You will deal with the consequences as they come.

You head home satisfied with your culinary conquest, but you can already feel an ominous grumbling in your belly. By the time you’ve reached the door, you know your fate has been sealed. As quickly as the pho flowed from the bowl to your mouth, it now flows from your butt to the bowl. The stream of still-hot broth and partly digested vegetables is punctuated by stuttering bursts of gas. The pain is incredible; at one point, you think you feel yourself tearing open. After what feels like an eternity, it finally sputters to a stop. You sigh wistfully as you stand up and flush; you’re hungry again.

The never-ending cycle continues on This Toilet Tuesday.


conan

Conan – Revengeance (Napalm Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Revengeance”

This new Conan song is the audio-equivalent of a PAWG. Little in the middle, but it’s got much back. If you like your doom rockin’ and more bottom-heavy than disgraced rapper Iggy Azalea, Conan is the band for you.  FFO: Wo Fat, Red Fang, Electric Wizard 1/29/16 (W.)


spektr

Spektr – The Art to Disappear (Agonia Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Through the darkness of future past”

For 13 years, Spektr have been subverting the norms of black metal. I was a fan of the disarming and often terrifying cybernetic atmospheres the band created on previous albums, but “Through the Darkness of Future Past” has completely eradicated any expectations I may have had for The Art to Disappear. Those deranged riffs and leads counterbalanced against that steady, measured rhythm have completely torn my cerebellum asunder. This is far more hellish than anything Mories accomplished last year. FFO: Gnaw Their Tongues, Terra Tenebrosa, Aborym 1/29/16 (W.)


Dream Theater – The Astonishing (Roadrunner Records) [Playstation 2-core]
Listen to “Moment of Betrayal”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… sorry, I tried to control myself, but it wad all too much. (Buttling Rites ov Karhu)


Viikate – XII – Kouvostomolli (Spinefarm Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Pelasuts” and “Kovaa Teetä”

I’ve been a Viikate fan for some years now. This is maybe the fourth album I really get to expect from them, having evolved from a slow-ish and melancholic fusion of rautalanka (think German Schlagers meets The Shadows) and heavy metal to a faster paced, equally as depressed version of themselves over the years (culminating in a Motörhead covers EP). They’re back from side-project-land. The first single, “Pelastus”, didn’t feel that good with the vocal strain in the chorus and lack of their signature leads. “Kovaa Teetä”, despite ending too abruptly, already sounds much better, yet I must say that even though many of my current favorites of theirs have taken time to grow on me – this is the first V- album I am waiting for, unsure of how I’ll feel about it. Nevertheless, this more rock-oriented Viikate is still worth checking out. (Nordling Butts of Karhu)


wildernessking

Wildernessking – Mystical Future (Grimoire/Sick Man Getting Sick/Les Acteurs de l’Ombre) [Atmospheric Black Metal]
Stream

I wouldn’t say that post-black metal is my musical style of choice, but when a band is good, they’re good. Post- bands of any sort walk a fine line between being calming and boring, between emotional and contrived. Wildernessking stay on the positive sides of both those lines with Mystical Future, with grand, weighty themes that don’t feel overblown. It’s as evocative of its imagery as it is emotionally, as well; there are moments that capture the vastness of nature, and it makes me feel very small. In this case, that’s a good thing. 1/29/16 (Spear)


Nordjevel – Nordjevel (Osmose Productions) [Black Metal]
Stream

And now, because it’s impossible to have enough Satan: Nordjevel. It’s wintry, it’s evil, the production is crisp, and it’s wholly headbangable. What more could you ask for? In all seriousness, this has some of the best riffage of any black metal release I’ve listened to this year. Turn your ears towards “Blood Horns” and tell me I’m wrong. 1/29/16 (Spear)


Aggelos – Silentium (Rottweiler Records) [Gothic Metal]
Listen

Angelcide – Hunting Astral Prey (Elegy Records) [Black Metal]
Listen

Angerseed – The Proclamation (Nail Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Unjustified Presence”

Armus – The Fall of Nihil (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Imperium”

Atra Vetosus – Ius Vitae Necisque (Immortal Frost Productions) [Black Metal]
Preview

Avantasia – Ghostlights (Nuclear Blast Records) [Symphonic Power Metal]
Listen to “Mystery of a Blood Red Rose”

Baphomet’s Blood – In Satan We Trust (Iron Bonehead Productions) [Speed Metal]
Stream

Black Tusk – Pillars of Ash (Relapse Records) [Sludge/Punk]
Listen

Bombs of Hades – Death Mask Replica (War Anthem Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Old Fires Die”

Brimstone Coven – Black Magic (Metal Blade Records) [Doom]
Stream

Cemetery Whore/Nuclear Holocaust/Hell United/Necrosodomistical Slaughter – Infected By Old School (Defense Records) [Black/Death/Grind]

Chthe’ilist – Le Dernier Crépuscule (Profound Lore) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Voidspawn”
Review

Cruenta Venganza – The Man, the Myth, the Legend (Independent) [Melodeath]
Preview

Degradead – Degradead (Metamorphik Records) [Melodeath/Thrash]
Listen to “Victimize”

Disquiet – The Condemnation (Soulseller Records) [Death/Thrash]
Listen to “The Condemnation”

Drainland/Trenches – Drainland/Trenches (split- Vendetta Records) [Sludge/Hardcore]
Stream

Embedded – Bloodgeoning (Apostasy Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Cleansed By Fire”

Eternal of Sweden – Heaven’s Gate (Sound Pollution Distribution) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Ruins”

Exumer – The Raging Tides (Metal Blade Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Raging Tides”

The Fog – Perpetual Blackness (Memento Mori) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Inaneness”

Garganjua – A Voyage in Solitude (Black Bow Records) [Doom]
Preview

Inclemency – Inclemency (Independent) [DSBM]
Stream

Kaos Reign – Screaming for Salvation (Independent) [Thrash]
Preview

Ketzer – Starless (Metal Blade Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Starless”

Kozeljnik – Death Gives unto Life (Possession Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “‘Tis the Soul on Wayward Path”

Lethal Steel – Legion of the Night (High Roller Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Sirius”

Master – An Epiphany of Hate (FDA Rekotz) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Face Your Fear”

Maze of Terror – Ready to Kill (Empire Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Lycanthropes,” “Violent Mind of Hate”

Motus Tenebrae – Deathrising (My Kingdom Music) [Gothic Metal]
Listen to “Deathrising”

Paediatrician – Pregnant Pathology (Rotten Roll Rex) [Brutal Death Metal]
Stream

Pokolgép – Metalbomb (Gegentrend Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Az alarc lehull,” “Ringben”

Primal Fear – Rulebreaker (Frontiers Music) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “The End is Near”

Proll Guns – Horseflesh BBQ (NRT Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Horseflesh BBQ”

Serenity – Codex Atlanticus (Napalm Records) [Symphonic Power Metal]
Listen to “Iniquity”

Shakra – High Noon (AFM Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “High Noon”

Torture Rack – Barbaric Persecution (Memento Mori) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Coffin Breath”

Sworn Amongst – Under a Titan Sky (Sweden Music Group) [Death/Thrash]
Preview

Titaan – Kadingir (ATMF Records) [Black Metal]
Preview

Vanad Varjud – Dismal Grandeur in Nocturnal Aura (Symbol of Domination) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Dismal Dusk”

Viikate – XII – Kouvostomolli (Spinefarm Records) [Heavy Metal]

Vinterblot – Realms of the Untold (Nemeton Records) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Evoked by Light,” “Frostbitten”

Vorkreist – Sacrifice (Agonia Records) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Losing Sanity Key”

Wurdalak – Como si no hubiese un mañana (Maldito Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Como si no hubiese un mañana”

Yekun – The Boars Nest (Independent) [Stoner/Groove Metal]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

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