Here it folks. The final Toilet Tuesday of the decade. I’d say it sucks that it’s as weak as it is, but it seems appropriate that it goes out with a wet fart. Hans and I have picked out a couple albums that you might… enjoy? Let us know if you find anything actually worth diving into; otherwise, just shitpost away.

Agent Slimepunk – I Quit: The Last Agent Slimepunk Album (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen

Fare thee well, Agent Slimepunk! What a ride it’s been since you started this project way back in that crazy summer of 2019. That was when you first regaled us with an album of lo-fi instrumental melodeath, remember? From there to the better produced follow-up EP, there was a lot of progression to chart. Four months can really age a person. Alas, some suspected that ennui was beginning to set in, and yesterday you confirmed their fears, leaving us with one last offering of thrashy, upbeat, still instrumental melodeath that says, “I may be no more, but have you ever considered what Chronologist would sound like with pretty severe brain damage?” We hadn’t, and we salute you, Agent Slimepunk; you seem to have been one of the less bad bedroom projects. 1/1/19 (Hans)

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Blackguard – Storm (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “By My Hand”

When the bombs fall and the nuclear winter sets in, the only things left alive will be the roaches and Blackguard. Seriously, you can’t get rid of them; they’ve survived numerous lineup collapses and even a full-on name change over the years, and they’re pervasive as all hell, showing up on tour bills that never seem to make sense. But hey, it could be worse- while their style of melodeath is cheesy and predictable, it’s not terribly offensive, either. Storm probably isn’t going to blow anyone away, but I’ll likely give it a nostalgia listen and bask in those sweet solos for a bit. 1/3/19 (Spear)

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Bestia – Cold Winds of Death (Independent) [Black Metal]
Stream

The Black Vomit – The Herald of Doom Returns (Independent) [Death Metal]
Stream

Bosque – Cleansing (Dunkelheit/Bubonic Doom) [Funeral Doom]
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Dracir – Further into the Grave: A Curse Is Reborn (Independent) [Black Metal]
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Free as Birds – Last Campanella (Independent) [Power Metal]

Hammered – Live, Drunk, & Metal (Independent) [Heavy Metal]
Stream

Infectious Disease – Savagery (Brutal Mind) [Brutal Death Metal]
Listen to “Exceptional Algorithmic Complexity”

Lascaille’s Shroud – Othercosmic Divinations I (Independent) [Progressive Death Metal]
Listen

Mental Distortion – Shred Them (Independent) [Death/Doom]
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Odour of Death – Satanic Devotion (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen

六弦アリス – 華とモノクローム (Independent) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “True”

Slam – Sounds in the Key of Doom (Independent) [Not Slam]
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Sors Immanis – Le diable violoneux (Voices From Beyond Productions) [Symphonic Black Metal]
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Souldevourer – Realms of the Netherworld (Independent) [Death Metal]
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Thangorodrim/Haryon – Under the Reign of a New Power (split- Herrschaft Productions) [Dungeon Synth]
Stream

Tod Huetet Uebel – Nomen Nescio (Independent) [Black Metal]

Unbound Terror – Faith in Chaos (Xtreem Music) [Death Metal]
Listen

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments!