Pukers, the Vomiting Tchornobog Needs Your Help!


Ralphing. Spewing. Upchucking. Retching. Puking. Barfing. Vomiting. The time-honored tradition of making sick goes by many names, but its legacy is shared by all of humanity. It is our great common denominator, the leveler that brings kings and paupers both to their knees in supplication before the porcelain throne. As a metalhead, there’s a good chance your hedonistic lifestyle has afforded you the chance to drink deeply from the well of debauchery until your cup overfloweth, whether through beer, herb, or harder stuff (like lit’l smokies). If that’s the case, Markov Soroka needs you to lend your special talents to the Vomiting Choir.

The call for respectable regurgitators resounded across the internet like a cacophony of digested queso splashing into fetid fecal water last night. The issuance from Bald Mountain:

Discontent to merely write incredible, bowel-moving music venerating the sacred practice of uttering invectives into an earthen bowl in supplication to the black god, Soroka has taken it upon himself (and upon you, his pagan constituency) to record a genuine oral history of expelling curses into vessels as offering to Tchornobog. Only in this case, that curse you hurl is likely that final, ill-advised Long Island Iced Tea you smashed Saturday night, and the bowl is, well, the toilet (ov hell or otherwise). The effect, however, is the same. Binge. Purge. Create art. And Metal.

So, what do you have to do to join the Vomiting Choir? It’s simple, really. Just record yourself – on cell phone or skype call, etc. – the next time you get a case of the creature and then submit that audio to vomitingchoir AT gmail DOT com. Soroka will then take your offering and add your swill into the great stream of man’s sickness that we may all drink deeply of the black god’s stomach bile on Tchornobog’s next record.

So, warriors of the battle-scarred bathroom tile, do you have the intestinal constitution to lend your stomach lining for the cause? If so, join the Vomiting Choir and take your place in metal history.

(Photoa VIA Nona Limmen).

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