Riff ov the Week: 6/27/15

June 27, 2015

4481

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No theme this week. Just riffs.

Last week, however, there was a theme. Joe dubbed it “Riff ov the Weeb.” Considering that the amount of anime gifs posted in the comment section was greater than zero, it is clear that the post was a complete failure and that there is no reason to live in this world.

Technically, JWEG received the most votes. Later that evening, however, he came to me — shooting tear-and-snot streams of guilt from his eyeballs and noseholes, respectively — and asked that I remove a single vote from the final tally because he, quite despicably, voted for himself. That is the story of how he forfeited his win for a draw with W., and thus regained his honor.

sddsf

Here’s how we’re going to settle this tie. Whichever of you overnights me the most money wins the contest and gets their money back PLUS HALF of what the other person sent me. See how this works?

Next week:

By the royal decree of your favorite ex-President, we will be focusing only on violin or cello riffs in metal.
NeObliviscaris is a lame band.
Send your violin or cello riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your Disqus handle, a link to the song, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
If you have an idea for a theme, make it known.

Masterlord

I missed this album last year, and I’ve been listening to it every day as penance for my ignorance. 0:27 of “Aamutähdelle” is the epitome of the melancholy black metal riff. If you don’t vote for it, I’m going to assume it’s because it froze you to death.

My wife, like most people, thinks metal is for total losers. However, the riff that kicks off at 0:52 (and again at 4:19) is such a monster that I caught her bobbing her head along to the groove. Mrs. W. approved!

Blackbeard

Sometimes you just have to keep it simple. Real simple. It’s a guaranteed loss but an undeniable progenitor to slam. Riff and flaming starts at 0:41.

Vegglampe

Mastodon is love, Mastodon is life, and if there is one thing they know it is how to write amazing choruses. Riff starts when Brent starts quacking.

Tertius Decimus

Slovakia, 1976. Riff starts at 1:40. [Isn’t this a solo? — Masterlord]

Ted Nü-Djent

Riff starts to build from about the 6 minute mark until the riff just before the solo at about 6:30 before settling back into a sped up version of my original submitted riff at about this point. Really looking forward to the re-release of this album and the fact they’re back together also makes me hopeful of catching them live sometime soon. Check out the whole tune if you have a spare 8 minutes.

Zeke

I like Hypocrisy. 1:55.

Shrimp in A Pizza Box

At 00:24, you too can experience a LITERALLY face-crushing riff, at the affordable price of absolutely nothing!

Richter

Submitted for The Riffenning: Black Math Horseman, the underrated and superior band Sera Timms was in before she was in Ides of Gemini and Black Mare. I think they’re defunkt. Oh well. Riff starts to build at 5:17 and nukes the site from orbit at 5:54. Shit continues to splode through to the end.

Dagon

SMOKE. DRINK. DIE. 0:39.

Lacertilian

Every track from Embrional‘s The Devil Inside has RoTW candidates. The whole album is a lesson on how to do death metal in the contemporary era amidst the over-saturation & niche sub-genres. From the guitars, the production, and the precision drumming, this shit owns. Stab @ 3:40 and let it strike you down.

Ron Deuce

Been listening to Pyrrhon’s Growth Without End lately and they remind me a little of Ion Dissonance. The skronky breakdown on this one at 1:05 is perfectly placed to break up the blast beats and off kilter time signatures. Then the whole thing descends back into unrelenting chaos before giving way to another breakdown at the end.