Shirt Stains: Alestorm Peg Leg


Shiver me tibia!

OH WOW! Alestorm have been gallivanting around the high seas for almost 20 years. They still crank out pirate-themed songs, heavily inspiring other bands to also crank out pirate-themed songs. You’d think that ship would have wrecked by now, but you’d be wrong. As long as Napalm Records exists, so too will pirate metal.

If you’re still walking the plank after all this time and want to pre-order Alestorm’s upcoming album Seventh Rum Of a Seventh Rum” directly from Napalm, you’re in the running to win this:

It was only a matter of time. Frankly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Alestorm, the scallywags, have finally created their very own, official wood leg. Why? It was either that or give up their giant inflatable rubber ducky, which I have dubbed Sir Reginald Quacksford IV. Or maybe the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride was throwing out some junk and Alestorm went “treasure hunting” in a dumpster.

So what does one do with an Alestorm wood leg? You’d think “wear it” is the right answer, but of course, prosthetics are made to fit the wearer so this probably wouldn’t work. Plus, most prosthetics are far more advanced and functional. You could drink out of it. That would make Alestorm proud. You could drink Ale Storm beer out of it. That would make Alestorm sad since it has nothing to do with the band. Uhhh…you can play air guitar with it. Hitting people in the pit with it is an option. Ummmmm….See? There’s plenty of things you can do with an Alestorm wood leg.



Ah, who am I kidding. Whoever gets this is probably going to fuck it.

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