Review: AcceptHumanoid


Keep it copacetic and learn to Accept it.

Please don’t yell at me when I tell you that Humanoid is the first Accept album I’ve ever listened to. To say I’m late to the party would be an understatement. I’ve got friends who sing their praises, and I’ve seen enough patches to know I should have checked them out a long time ago. But hey, we’ve only got so much time on this earth and no one lives forever. Unless you’re Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. I’ll bet that guy knows all the best ’80s heavy metal bands. Did you guys know that mortals can actually kill the immortals by decapitation, too? It just doesn’t release the Quickening and transfer all their knowledge and power. Really sucks. I thought that would have been a good shortcut before writing this article…

So where does that leave us? Well for one thing, Amazon Prime removed the Highlander TV show and locked it behind a paywall. If you think that’s fucked up, you should also know that while that show was filmed in full screen, it’s presented in a widescreen format for most streaming services. That means they cropped and zoomed in on the image to fill your TV screen, cutting off part of the original image. This shit is actually really common and it drives me bananas. Imagine being a director or a camera man, meticulously framing up a shot, getting it all just right to create the perfect cinematic experience, then some asshole 20 or 30 years later shows up and says, “To hell with your original aspect ratio!” I mean, that’s totally fucked up right?!

Now I’m not sure if Accept is immortal or not, but they’ve certainly risen from the grave a few times throughout their career. Their origins actually date back into the late 1960s when they went by the name Band X. After some lineup changes they eventually changed their name and put out their first, self-titled album in 1979. 45 years later, here I am approaching their catalog in the most backwards way imaginable.

As I write this article, I’m giving myself a crash course. I gotta say the band only seems to have improved over time. Not only does this latest record measure up, it might be some of their best material. Granted, guitarist Wolf Hoffmann is the only original member, but I’m going to assume he’s the driving force behind the band. To constantly improve over the course of your career is no small feat. Considering how many classic bands hit a sophomore slump and never quite reclaim their original greatness, I want to make sure I give credit where it’s due. I don’t think anyone who has been following this band for nearly half a century is going to be disappointed.

The record kicks off with some sitar/Egyptian sounding grooves before ripping into a harmonic laden riff that’ll get your toes tapping and your head bobbing. It’s a feeling that continues throughout the album. The lyrics are delivered with an appropriately mean growl. The guitar, bass, and drums are all dialed in with precision. Every time a guitar solo kicks in you get a true sense of how well crafted these songs are. In a world full of over-produced metal albums, Humanoid isn’t one of them. It’s professionally recorded without sounding computerized. The song structures aren’t overly complicated, but they still feel innovative within the genre. Each track is firmly rooted in traditional heavy metal while clearly evolving in all the right ways. That had to be a hard balance to strike and I applaud them for it.

I wish I could share more than just a couple tracks, but if these riffs don’t make you want to drive too fast down the highway in a Trans Am, there’s just no hope for you. Or should I say autobahn? These guys are German after all.

4/5 Flaming Toilets ov Hell

Look for the rest of this release to drop April 26, 2024 via Napalm Records.

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