Shirt Stains: Unreadable Band Logo


You dumb bastard. It’s not a schooner, it’s a sailboat!

You’re reading this website, so you’re either a metal fan or a very confused ca-ca fetishist. Being a metal fan, inevitably, you’ve had to deal with normies complaining that they can’t understand the vocals and can’t dance to it. You’ve probably also had to endure people making the same damn jokes and sending the same damn memes to you about how some random doodles and piles of trash look like a metal band logo. You throw in a pity like or a halfhearted chuckle “Good one, Aunt Gladys,” before muttering “poser” under your breath. This probably looks familiar. This one too.

Yes, there are some difficult to read band logos. Just ask Mike Portnoy. That being said, you can usually make out most of the name or at least a few letters. Most of the time. This is not one of those times.



Oh, man. Every single one of those jokes was right! It is just a bunch of random points and lines! The truth hurts. It hurts so bad, like when you stub your toe against a toilet. I’m afraid if I look at this shirt any longer, I might poke an eye out. This is what it looks like when you’re stuck on a boring phone call, so you open Microsoft Paint and just start scribbling in random directions. It’s like your dog got a hold of a crayon and gnawed on it while sitting on the couch.

Believe it or not, but that is, in fact, a logo for a band. Care to take a guess? I wouldn’t even bother if I were you. This is a shirt for Waking The Cadaver, one of the original Myspace bands. Just look at that friend count! That used to mean something, kids. The band eventually moved on to a more legible logo, but this oddity remains. I don’t know how you advertise your band when you logo looks like partially digested angel hair pasta, but here we are.

We all know this is just the logical end point of the extreme metal logo. No one actually writes like this. If they did, they would have to be a sick, twisted human being. A real narcissistic egomaniac who was born on third, thinking they hit a home run. Someone devoid of any decency or courtesy. A vapid, vain, and selfish husk of humanity. Thankfully, no such person exists that would write like this.



Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!