Shirt Stains: So It Has Come To This: A Toilet Ov Hell Bootleg


Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it could happen to me…

What is the measure of success? Some think it’s the amount of money you have. Others think it’s the amount of power you wield. Perhaps it’s swimming in an Olympic-sized pool filled with Jell-O. Maybe it’s getting a lot of clicks on your website or being noticed by senpai. How about someone selling your work as their own?

During a vanity Google search of Toilet Ov Hell to see who is praising us (Hi, Twitter friends! We love you!) and who is doing a hilariously terrible job of shitting on us (‘Sup DMU!) I came across this ad:

You see that? That sponsored ad is selling our most recent t-shirt design. Yeah, none of us are connected to Someone in their infinitely poor wisdom is trying to make a few bucks off our little toilet-based SJW blog. The fact that someone, somewhere thinks that this is a money-making venture definitely counts as us “making it”. It’s both extremely funny and extremely enraging.

It’s funny because this website is actually selling the shirt for more than for what we were selling. It’s enraging because websites like Google and Facebook don’t do a thing to stop this from happening. It’s funny because this website is too lazy to do anything different with the shirt. It’s enraging because people that are fans of this website are getting duped by some scummy jack-o-lantern fucker. It’s funny because they also offer a pink tank top, oh excuse me, a pink “canvas flowy racerback tank” for almost $27. It’s enraging because our friend sweettooth0 worked very hard on this design and will receive zero credit or compensation from these bootlegs.

On the one hand, I’m a little disappointed that this isn’t one of those full-on pants-crappingly weird bootlegs we’ve covered before. Who wouldn’t want a shirt with Snoopy saying “I Miss Joe Thrashnkill” or a ghetto Bart Simpson saying “Toilet Ov Hell Is For Cucks”? That’s a license to print money. On the other hand, we dodged a bullet by not being associated with Minions or Rick and Morty fans. So what else is this thieving garbage jizz of a website selling? Let’s take a look.

If there’s one thing Disney loves, it’s having their copyrighted material used without their consent.

Same with Major League Baseball.

See? I told you we dodged the Minions bullet.

You have no idea, bootleg National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation shirt.


Of course they also sell these types of shirts.

I’m not sure if there is any way to solve this. At least we’re not in a situation like some bands that need merch money to keep going out on the road. Is there someone at Google we can message? Where do we send the tendies-shaped dog doo? The best solution may be to start reselling our shirts soon. What do you think?

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