Snap Into a Slam Jim with Randy Savage

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Quick, name one wrestler greater than The Macho Man Randy Savage. You can’t. Do you know why? It’s because you’re a fucking poser but also because such a wrestler doesn’t exist. The man known as Randy Poffo by lesser mortals was the greatest wrestler to ever enter the squared circle or hold a microphone. Need proof?

Need more?

What an incredible FORCE. A force so strong, in fact, that even in the years after his death his legacy is still carrying on, even when it finds itself unjustifiably in a position it would rather not be in. Enter Randy Savage, the debut EP from Atlanta slamming weirdos…Randy Savage.

Okay, so this isn’t exactly good and it really just tries to coast by very hard on the novelty of its concept. It even goes so far as to include voice snippet from longtime WWF announcer Jim Ross (as well as a very weird mid-song interruption feat. The Big Show). Add some truly atrocious production, including perhaps the most piercingly awful ping pong snare I’ve ever heard, and you’ve got something uniquely awful. So why are we even here talking about this if it’s so bad?

Well, quite frankly metal could do with a break from maiming women and praising Satan. We get it, you’re super masculine, you dislike God, you probably own a spiked coffee mug, that’s great. It’s time for something fresh though, and what offers a better mix of freshness and levity int a genre so self-serious than wrestling legends? Can you imagine the hottest new Icelandic black metal band doing a concept album about The Undertaker? Or perhaps your favorite powerviolence/metallica hardcore band taking on the in-ring shenanigans of the one and only Mick Foley? A mathcore take on The Ultimate Warrior? The possibilities are truly endless.

So no, Randy Savage aren’t the wrestling themed heroes we’ve been waiting for. Hell, they aren’t even the best band named after a wrestler that doesn’t even sing about wrestling ( I miss you, Owen Hart). If you can get past the horrible production and weird announcer interruptions there is, at best, some serviceable slam to be had here. More importantly, even at it’s worst, it’s still much better than the musical endeavor that featured Randy Savage:

On second thought, maybe it will be a while before the cream rises to the top.

 

Help Leif decide what genre Scott Steiner Teaching Math should be in the comments.

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