The Best Band In Massachusetts is Scaphism


Back in August of 2014 we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions, we finally narrowed down our pick for one of the first places that English colonists killed huge numbers of Native Americans. The best unsigned band in Massachusetts is Scaphism

Ahhh, the spirit of Massachusetts. They say it’s the spirit of America, you know. The spirit of what’s old and what’s new. In fact, the spirit of Massachusetts is the spirit of the red, white, and blue. Massachusetts, apparently, is also the home of nasty, thrashy death metal. Scaphism aims right for the core and hits it with full, unrelenting force. Do you like your death metal with a heaping side of groovy thrash? Done. Do you like your nasty thrash after its been twisted and mangled through a death metal processor? DONE.

We’ve all heard the weak, infuriating argument against metal from the unwashed masses about how “you can’t even, like, lol, understand, like, the lyrics, lol, haha.” I guess that’s important when you need to hear about how your boyfriend broke up with you for the 1,489th time, or how you should get drunk up the club, brah. Well no worries here, friends! Vocalist Tony Jordan is clear enough in his varied and razor-sharp delivery to tell you that there are “intestines everywhere, they’re in your hair. You’re split in half without a care.” For this quartet that’s firmly rooted in OSDM, the vocals run the gamut from low gutturals to higher shrieks, all while remaining crystal clear without being overbearing. Plus, you can never fault a band that pays homage to Star Wars with “Slowly Digested Over 1,000 Years.”

The word “scaphism” defines a form of torture that’s about as brutal as it gets, where the victim can die from dozens of different, horrible causes. Similarly, the instrumental portion of Scaphism attacks on multiple fronts. At times, these guys offer an all-out death metal assault à la Cannibal Corpse, at other times they recall the groovier elements of Terrorizer, or they even summon a revved-up form of Toxic Holocaust thrash in the chaos of their mid-song stomp sessions. These guys pay homage all over the place, and in tasteful fashion; no moment strays too far, but nothing seems worn out or overdone. Before you go recalling the death-thrash fusion of The Crown, lean heavier on the death side and don’t be afraid to crush some skulls. Scaphism will straight up murder you through a brutal death assault, revive you with some nasty, catchy thrash, and then make you kill yourself from headbanging way too hard. It’s a vicious cycle, and we’re all glad to oblige.

With over 30,000 likes on their Facebook page and a well-organized Bandcamp site, we consider ourselves lucky that these guys aren’t signed so we could poach them for our state-by-state showdown. If you want to cash in your Kvlt Points, however, you better hop on this train before it sails. Pick up their excellent debut Festering Human Remains for just $4.99 on their Bandcamp page, and accept the mighty challenge of choosing your leather vest or your denim vest to wear as you stomp around your room in headbanging delight.

As always, our judges will agree on the mighty verdict of the Toilet:

Masterlord: Disease-ridden death metal that more than occasionally projectile vomits the thrashy groove. I could wax pseudo-poetic about what these dudes sound like, or I could just tell you that they have a song called “Chainsawdomy” and that would give you a pretty good idea.

Howard Dean: Scaphism: no longer just a fun torture method. This quartet from Boston brings the OSDM with a decidedly Floridian tang–thrashy, catchy, and dirty. Riffs of gore. These dudes do it right.

Simon Phoenix: When you think of Massachusetts, you usually think of Boston, home of the cream pie, the Wahlberg brothers, and the shittiest baseball team in existence. What you don’t expect is some sweet groove laden death metal. Luckily for you and me, Scaphism don‘t think like me and have provided just that. Listening to this nice slice of brutality stays my hand from firebombing Fenway Park for another year. Good on ya, fellows.

Eaten (Worcester, MA): DEATHGRIND!

The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.

Previous winners:

Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas
Colorado – The Sleer
Connecticut – Autumn’s Eyes
Delaware – Sloss
Florida – Capracide
Georgia – Lost Hours
Hawaii – Darkest Path
Idaho – Rotten Hand
Illinois – Deus Ex
Indiana – Thorr-Axe
Kansas – Bummer
Kentucky – Ad Infinitum
Louisiana – Withering Light
Maine – Sylvia
Maryland – Bereave

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