You Send Me Things, I Listen to Them
Ever wonder what happens when you email your band’s music to an egotistical monster?
The Toilet ov Hell inbox is a raging clusterfuck of press releases, promo albums, and tons of band submissions of varying quality. I’m weeks behind on correspondence and I sometimes let cool shit slip my mind due to my gnat-like attention span. Rest assured, I read and listen to (almost) everything. When something special hits my earholes, I wanna share it with you. Please enjoy some of my favorite recent(ish) band submissions.
Secret Admirer
Here’s a bit of advice for bands looking for blog coverage: give your email a compelling subject line. Something that jaded old bloggers WANT to click. Maybe something like “Black Metal for Supermodels“, which is exactly what Secret Admirer did. Hailing from the exotic cosmopolitan vistas of Montgomery, Alabama, Secret Admirer do not play black metal (the lying bastards!). Instead, these Southern gents create a slow burning form of melancholy synth pop.
So far the band only has two tracks up for listening. “Billowing Perfume”, layers a soft melodic progression atop booming bass and drum machines. “Pale Shelter”, a Tears for Fears cover, is rendered completely unrecognizable from the original as a deconstructed haze of atmospheric synths and spoken word. The closest comparison I can make is Mat Sweet’s Boduf Songs. No word on when a new release is planned but give ’em a like on Facebook and stay informed of new developments. I’m interested and I wanna hear more.
Annakarina 
Do you dudes love French New Wave cinema?!?!?!?! Yeah! Me… me, I don’t know a damn thing about it. A quick Wikipedia search informs me that Anna Karina was an actress/model/singer/renaissance-lady superbabe that worked with Jean-Luc Godard and Serge Gainsbourg. These are interesting facts. A more interesting fact: Annakarina shreds.
Do you like guitars that go “Doo-doo-deedly-widdly-SKREEEEE-doodly-doodly-doo”? Do you dig unhinged vocal performances and unpredictable song structures? Then mister, you might just like Pittsburgh’s own Annakarina. The band plays a style they dub “prog-skramz” and even namechecks YES guitarist Steve Howe, so you know you’re in for some sweet licks (check out “Rocky Sullivan Death Scene” for a clinic in jazzy clean guitar work). Annakarina just released a 2-song EP titled Erasure, I Realized the Fix Was In via Broken World Media. More violent and unpredictable than UNCEREMONY, it sounds like an uneasy hybrid of post-hardcore and powerviolence. Listen to Erasure, I Realized the Fix Was In here, go do the like on Facebook, and check out UNCEREMONY below.
Dan Webb & The Spiders
Dan Webb and the Spiders are machines. Over the last few years they’ve released 4 LPs, a bunch of singles, a handful of splits, and gone on five European tours. Despite the endless grind, these Bostonians have a knack for penning loose, laid-back garage rock that feels like sunny good vibes. Their latest record Perfect Problem is heavy on catchy choruses and fun, sloppy guitar work. At times, the Dan Webb & company recall the infectious pop-punk sound of The Marked Men and the slightly boozy glory of The Replacements (the greatest rock n’ roll band not named Guided By Voices).
It’s the end of the day. You’re grumpy and you need a break from blast beats. Unwind and tap your foot along with Perfect Problem. Go like Dan Webb and the Spiders on Facebook and check out the rest of their material on Bandcamp.
Have something you wanna send my way? Email me at toiletovhell@gmail.com.
