It’s Somebody’s Birthday Today…

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WHO COULD IT BE? I’LL NEVER TELL.

It’s Joe. Let’s take some time this Sunday to wish him a happy birthday. Thank him for being the fastest uniflagellar sperm, surviving the slimy gauntlet of birth, avoiding nature’s many attempts to select against him, and enduring long enough to found the toilet. Most of us can only claim to have accomplished exactly 3 out of 4 of those things.

“Many years ago today
Something grew inside of your mother
That thing was you

Did she scream? Did she cry?
Only those that are born
Are the ones that get to die!

One more year closer to dying
Rotting organs ripping grinding
Biological discordance
Birthday equals self-abhorrence

Years keep passing, aging always
Mutate into vapid slugs
Doctor gives a new prescription
Bullet in a fucking gun

One more year closer to dying
Plastic surgeons fuel the lying
You forget why you came in here
Your mind rots with every New Year

R.S.V.P., please
For the deth of thee
You have little time
And you’re running out of life

Happy Birthday
You’re gonna die!

Now you’re old and full of hatred
Take a pill to masturbatred
Children point to you and scream
Because they will become that thing

One more year of further suffering
There’s no point of fucking bluffing
Open up your Dethday present
It’s a box of fucking nothing

R.S.V.P., please
For the deth of thee
You have little time
And you’re running out of life

Happy birthday
You’re gonna die!

Die die
Deth-day
Birth-day
Deth-day
Die-die
Deth-day
Birth-day
Deth-day

R.S.V.P., please
For the deth of thee
You have little time
You’re running out of life

Happy birthday
You’re gonna die
You’re running out of life”

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