Flush It Friday: Gamer Zone
I’m a gamer, not because I choose to have many lives, but because I have no life.
Few things seem to salve my stressed soul like a humble, dopamine-triggering video game—hence why I seem to choose my silly virtual toys over anything productive after the clock strikes 5 PM on a weekday. Without much else I can think to write about, I decided to turn said time wasters into something (marginally) productive. Anyways, here are some thoughts and hot(?) takes on games I’ve been playing lately:
Blinx – The Time Sweeper (Xbox)
A case of misplaced hope in a launch title, Blinx – The Time Sweeper exists now exclusively as a punchline. Said status made me want to play the game, as I know the feeling of being an underestimated silly character all too well. [Real. ~Roldy.] For the first 4 or 5 groupings of levels, Blinx is a decently-gratifying 3D platformer with unique time control mechanics and solid enough gameplay, culminating in a slightly mid, yet gratifying gameplay experience. Once you get past that point, the game becomes increasingly aggravating and, at least in my experience, the rare platformer that necessitates grinding. I’m almost at the end and I’ll see it through to the end, but I’d be lying if I said it’s an underrated experience. Oh well, at least I had fun with it.
Balatro (PC, Mobile, Xbox)
Buying Balatro for my Android phone was maybe the best investment under $10 I’ve made in a while. Filling the place of Solitaire in my life, it’s way too easy to pull this poker-themed roguelike out when I have a few minutes (or hours) to burn. It’s a deceptively simple deconstruction of roguelike mechanics and building a fantastic Joker lineup is maybe the most satisfying thing you can do on your phone (in public). I’m not sure I have much more to say about Balatro, I already know you motherfuckers have played this. I guess between this and Cloverpit, roguelikes have saved me from ever having to gamble.
Guitar Hero & Guitar Hero II (PS2)
Every ~two years, I bust out the aftermarket Guitar Hero controller and an emulator/my PS3 and pretend to be better at guitar than I actually am. I had never actually played the first game and hadn’t played II in a long time. After mostly beating both on Expert (still working on “Free Bird”), I can say that the cover band(s?) is impressively versatile, even if I’d rather have the original tracks every time, and the gameplay really hits its stride in the second game. Even if the timing of the first one is too stingy, these games make me feel like a kid again and genuinely function as practice for finger dexterity in my opinion. I’m for sure looking forward to playing through 3 and World Tour again as well.
Blade and Sorcery (PCVR)
I’ve dusted off the Oculus Quest 2 I got in 2020 recently to further escape reality, only to find that its still pretty damn fun (even if VRChat has somehow managed to get even worse). Blade and Sorcery, however, is one of the most enjoyable games you can play with a bulky mini-computer strapped to your dumb face. Stepping into a medieval realm and zapping/stabbing/bludgeoning your way through what amounts to tens of animated Barbie dolls is a great outlet for what my therapist calls “negative impulses,” especially with some death metal in the background. Jokes aside, this game has a lot of moving parts and is one of the more fleshed out VR titles I’ve played.
So, yeah, a pretty silly assortment of titles in the grand scheme of things, but what I do with my allotted “gamer time” is between me and the Lord, as far as I am concerned. As for you, feel free to tell me about what’s been running on your game station or, if you have boring bullshit like “responsibilities,” you can drop a G/B/U below. Either way, its been another week in paradise porcelain here at the bowl, so let’s break it down:
Reliquary Tower saw Tiktok icons Crowbar (lol) and gave a review of the plus-sized goats:
Brock Samson had a glowing review for this rat-type beat:
Spear premiered a new single from tech death band The Scalar Process. I’m thinkin’ this continuum is incessant.
The Flusher Podcast gets to taking ass and kicking names. Wait…
Falxifer‘s got the low-down on the black metal dinosaur’s most self-aware album:
I wrote a bit about the new Frozen Soul, with what Roldy generously called “tuff love.”
Stevo had glowing remarks for the GOAT of nature metal: Panopticon.
Hayduke X premiered a track from the graffiti castle kings, Scordatura.
Exclusive Video Premiere: Scordatura’s “When The Red Moon Hangs Low”
Another great set of reading material for when you’re on the shitter (physically or mentally). Peace and love to you all, gamers or not.
