Bob Rivers – I Am Santa Claus: A Video Breakdown

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Have a hokey, jokey Christmas.

‘Tis the season for covers of Christmas songs. The trend over the last dozen or so years is for metal bands to hop out of their lane for a few weeks and crank out their own versions of “classic” Christmas songs. In some cases, even entire albums. Were people really clamoring to hear Dee Snider belt out Silver Bells or August Burns Red toss a breakdown into Frosty The Snowman? I guess so because this Polar Express still goes through metal town. What if things went the other way? How about a classic metal song getting the Christmas twist?

Bob Rivers was a rock radio host in the Pacific Northwest. He’s most well-known for creating Christmas song parodies. When I say well-known, I mean his album Twisted Christmas was certified gold by the RIAA. His follow-up album I Am Santa Claus sold over 100,000 copies and made it on to the Billboard charts. God, I’m in the wrong business. Anyway, the album contained a parody of Black Sabbath‘s “Iron Man” and, lucky us, there was a music video for it. Let’s break it down.

 

 

Anyone else getting a “Creepshow meets And All Through The House” vibe?

 

Gasp! Santa Claus is Keyser Soze!

 

That cookie turned him into Tom Araya.

 

Santa not having a Flying V seems like a serious mistake.

 

To keep the Black Sabbath theme, those boxes are filled with copies of Born Again and cocaine.

 

The greatest gift a guitarist can give is to never do this.

The steady diet of milk and cookies has finally rotted Santa’s brain.

 

Probably not the smartest idea to hold a flaming guitar inches from your giant beard, Santa.

 

Same, Ozzy. Same.

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