Heidevolk – Winter Woede: A Video Breakdown


Fiddily diddily diddly do.

Have you ever heard of the Dutch pagan folk metal band Heidevolk? You’ve probably seen their name on various metal news sites or on a Paganfest lineup. They’re not necessarily the first name to come to mind when thinking of folk metal, but they’ve been consistently playing for over a decade. Pretty good for a band who’s name I’m not sure how to pronounce. High-de-volk? Heidi-walk? Eluveite? A folk band by any other name would smell as sweet. Let’s take a look at their new video for their song “Winter Woede”. Ugh, how do you pronounce that? Woody? Whoa-dee? You Would? Screw it, just click play.

0:09: Looks like someone had Arby’s for lunch.
0:14: Shit! The zoom button is stuck!
0:19: Folk metal? Let’s get outta here!
0:26: This guy wakes up in the woods hungover at least once a month. Having clothes on is new, though.
0:31: “Hmmm. I could’ve sworn I parked my unicorn righ here last night.”
0:34: Nice to see Rob Zombie slumming it.
0:39: “Whelp, time to build me a forest wife. Already got some twigs, just needs a pile of leaves for boobs and we’re all set.”
0:47: “And now it’s time to build our dream house. I’ll start with the breakfast nook.”
0:51: “Ummm they were like this when I got here.”
0:55: He’s going to take their shoes next.
1:09: There’s pale and then there’s Heidevolk.
1:11: Shhh. No one tell them there’s no amps.
1:19: This guy’s a regular “Peeping Piotr”.
1:30: Yep, those are drums. We get it.
1:36: The drummer really looks like Dark Tranquillity’s Mikael Stanne. Maybe there’s a “Metal Musician Exchange Program” going on in Europe. You trade members for a few months so they can immerse themselves in different metal cultures. I like it. NO ONE STEAL MY IDEA!
1:38: You would.
1:46: This dudes got everything. Pile of sticks, bread stolen from a dead man, and now a hand-crafted shitting bowl.
1:53: “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you two on giant horses over there.”
1:58: Aw jeez. This is where he tells them he got into a car accident on I-95 and just needs two dollars to take the bus. Just stare straight ahead and ignore him.
2:04: Well that escalated quickly. Don’t forget to take his shoes too.
2:10: Heidel-fist.
2:20: “My ex-girlfriend! Gasp!”
2:33: Excuse me! Pardon me! Sorry! My bad!
2:36: Even the vocalist is like “WTF OMG LOL”.
2:44: This guy really needs glasses. His peripheral vision is terrible.
2:53: Was he shot with an arrow or just frenetically dancing?
3:03: Sure, most steel swords wobble when swung.
3:10: If this video has any more “steel tasting” we’re going to have to sell it behind the counter.
3:18: You got knocked the fuck out!
3:29: Who wants s’mores?
3:35: It’s the Ancient Order of Facial Hair. A fine “Carpe Beardum” to you all!
3:41: Good, now you won’t catch a cold.
3:53: Aw, who spilled hot cocoa mix on my drums?
3:55: Ewwwww
4:02: An airplane spin? I haven’t seen that since “Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.
4:06: Snapmare!
4:23: Wait! Let’s just team up and kill this band instead!

A sword fight in the woods isn’t exactly the most original thing for a folk metal band to have in the video, but it was okay. Probably could’ve used some hot wenches or a dragon or two. Maybe their wench budget was low. Either way, it had the requisite amount of swords and plenty of fiddily diddily music.

Heidevolk’s new album “Velua” is will be released on March 20, 2015 via Napalm Records.

(Photo VIA)

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