Bottles and cans, just clap your hands.

It turns out that watching weird music videos on YouTube causes their recommendation algorithms to drill down on some truly unexpected stuff. I’m pretty sure that’s one of Asimov’s Laws of Robotics, right after “some nerd is going to want to fuck their USB port if you put an anime girl picture on it.” What I’m trying to say is that weird and different begets more weird and different. Case in point: today’s Video Breakdown.

Infected Rain are a female-fronted nu-metal band from Moldova. For those of you that were educated in the American public school system like myself and have a very poor geographical comprehension skills, Moldova is an Eastern European country nestled in between Romania and Ukraine. Other well-known metal bands from Moldova include…um…heck, I can’t really think of any off the top of my head. The list of Moldovan metal bands from Metal Archives didn’t offer much help. For many, this may be your first introduction to what Moldova has to offer. Lucky you.

 

0:02: Cocktail is #1 new movie in Moldova.
0:05: In Moldova, douche bags you.
0:17: And here comes the wubwubwubwub tummy noises.
0:24: This video is brought to you by the Moldovan Drinking Council. Drink Responsibly. Or not. Is free country.
0:32: That was an…unexpected genre shift.
0:38: BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE!
0:44: Dem shoes!
0:51: Did she just say “Your wiggle’s so big”?
0:58: Nope, it’s actually “And your ego is so big.” That’s only slightly better than my interpretation.
1:04: Is there a name for having straight hair in the front and dreadlocks in the back? Is it like the a Dread Mullet? A Drullet?
1:08: Actually, it’s called “cultural appropriation”, but I like Drullet better.
1:13: Oh, hey Fifth Element background character.
1:22: That wasn’t alcohol you were drinking.
1:30: Check out Moldovan Paris Hilton over here.
1:36: Can’t tell if this is pro or anti alcohol yet.
1:41: If that was the real Paris Hilton, she would have just stuck her va-jay-jay in the glass.
1:50: I think I know where the “infected” in Infected Rain comes from.
1:56: Interesting that they used American currency instead of the *goes to Google* Moldovan leu.
2:08: That’s just muscle memory at this point.
2:11: If you told me she was Ashlee Simpson I would accept that as fact.
2:17: Some people see pink elephants when they drink too much. Others see nu metal vocalists.
2:23: She just can’t handle her appletinis.
2:30: A “What she sees vs what you see” meme waiting to happen.
2:34: I think this video just turned a corner and she is now the hero.
2:42: There’s as many genres in this song as their are outfit changes in the video.
2:51: They should replace that symbol on her forehead with a big “sXe”.
2:57: Infected Rain is also going after smokers now.
3:05: We were somewhere around Chișinău, on the edge of the desert, when the alcohol began to take hold.
3:10: Seriously, what is that supposed to be on her forehead? A mushroom? A surprised jellyfish?
3:20: I wonder if she ever gets her tongue ring and her lip rip stuck together.
3:27: So because she got trashed, people didn’t call her a cab or made sure she got home safely. They just left her in the bar. Moldova’d again.

Infected Rain’s album Asylum is available now.