Pain – Call Me (feat. Joakim Brodén of Sabaton): A Video Breakdown

August 22, 2016

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On the line/Call me, call me anytime.

Sweden’s Pain have been around since 1996, but it’s taken about 20 years for me to notice them. That might be due to having one of the most generic band names in the history of bands. How many times do you think members of the band had this conversation:

Rando: What’s the name of your band?
Band Member: Pain.
Rando: …
Band Member: …
Rando: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were finished.

With their eighth studio album on the way, Pain have recently released a new music video which features guest vocals from Sabaton‘s Joakin Brodén andohholymotherofgod this video shows the band as nightmare-inducing puppets.

0:01: Cocaine explosion provided by the 1980s.
0:07: (labored breathing intensifies)
0:13: Actual candy for his nose.
0:17: Subtle.
0:21: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
0:25: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
0:28: Oh, they’re the band? I thought they were the newest tool in fighting sleep.
0:34: The aftermath of Martin Shkreli jerking off.
0:40: I’m really curious as to what those people in the audience were thinking when this was being filmed.
0:46: Were they enjoying themselves?
0:51: Were they being held against their will by these omnipotent puppet monsters?
0:56: They don’t call him “Uncle Touchy” for nothing.
1:02: You just know he’s done that to the puppets too.
1:09: An adult must be present while this video is playing.
1:14: Day-Glo Hello!
1:20: Another satisfied Checkers customer.
1:30: This is the strongest case against drugs ever.
1:38: Seriously, they should replace the D.A.R.E. Program with just this video.
1:46: Puppet Joakim is the most normal thing about this.
1:54: I guess this video isn’t that bad.
2:03: I think Puppet Joakim just implied that he was going to bang those ladies.
2:05: Possibly with his little felt wiener.
2:11: This is what Ted Cruz sees when he shuts his eyes.
2:22: Synchronized hand movements was what this needed.
2:31: Okay, now this video is ridiculous.
2:36: SUBTLE.
2:47: Wolverine looks good with makeup.
2:54: Winter at Ozzy’s house.
2:57: Oh no. Nononononononononono.
3:04: Tastes like burning.
3:13: We’re now at Level 10 Nauseousness.
3:20: I can practically feel the syphilis oozing through the screen.
3:33: Best cake ever!
3:40: They even gave that puppet awful tattoos. That’s commitment to you craft.
3:47: Sure, why not?
3:55: From the Chris Farley School of Dance.
4:03: Would this be better or worse than the Dio hologram to see live?
4:11: I hope that puddle isn’t what I think it is.