Riff Of The Week: Tech Edition
This week’s competition brought to you by Purple® – “It’s blue and red!”.
Things got hot last week for our Fire Edition of Riff Of The Week. Howard Dean went with a classic Bathory cut and so did 18% of you. Just glad that [REDACTED] riff I mentioned last week did not win, otherwise there would have been no choice but to burn this competition down in a blaze of furious disgust. The fact that that particular band scored more votes than Vader, Wastëland Riders, and (especially) Urn angers me greatly, but then again so does seeing the neighbours cat shit in my garden, so I guess can go on without immolating anything for another week.
This week we asked for Tech riffs, and I honestly expected more submissions considering the amount of that stuff we see posted around the place. No doubt we’ll see a bunch of posers coming out of the woodwork and dropping their “forgotten” entries down in the comments. Same way I could have beaten Michael Phelps(*) but I just forgot to turn up on the day. Anyway, we got some good-ass weedlies, deedlies, sweeperoos, pinchies-pinchies, tappity-taps, and ejackety-jacks for you to choose from today. Make sure you use the PROMO CODE PRION after voting to trade in your old/used viruses for a new strain of your choice at your next GP waiting room visit (subject to availability).
Jack Bauer
Archspire – “Rapid Elemental Dissolve” (Riff @ 0:05)
You knew it was coming, 0:05. ARCHSPIRE
Spear
Inanimate Existence – “Staring Through Fire” (Riff @ 1:42)
“Staring Through Fire” is the song that introduced me to Inanimate Existence, and it’s one of the best tech songs ever penned. It has about a thousand riffs that would work, but I’m going with the one at 1:42. It’s big, it’s nasty, and it’s perfect, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
Ellipsis
Unhuman – “(in)Human Being” (Riff @ 4:01)
Unhuman’s sole album dates back to 2013, but its quality keeps bringing me back. In particular, instrumental (in)human Being is a technical riff showcase, highlighted by the guitar interplay @ 4:01.
TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs
Rings Of Guitar Pro [Lizard note – His words, not mine. But also mine] – “Godless Times” (Riff @ 0:00)
This song blows. This band blows. But I kind of like the opening riff, and I’m pretty sure I can play it at half speed. I’m a complete n00b when it comes to technical shit
Howard Dean
Psycroptic – “Immortal Army Of One” (Riff @ 0:48)
I have almost no ear for tech. This is no secret. My first instinct was to be a prick and submit the slam riff from Suffocation’s “Liege of Inveracity” since they are considered “brutal/technical” but that didn’t seem fair. My second instinct was to submit some random riff from Unquestionable Presence or From Wisdom to Hate because… fuck it, that’s why. But instead I took some time to sit down and really try to remember a memorable tech riff–one that was still be trapped in my head somewhere. And then this one came to me. A-ha! Found one (it was tucked behind memories of childhood bicycle accidents and Chinese buffet food poisoning). It starts at 0:48. Since I’m no tech connoisseur I can’t really say whether this riff is awesome or not, but it is memorable. I don’t really like the vocals much or the production, but the riff is kinda kewl. There’s another neat guitar part at 4:00 (which might be even better; I dunno). Thoughts? Is it hot or not?
Ted Nü-Djent
Gorguts – “Obscura” (Riff @ 0:00)
I don’t dig too much I tech, I don’t mind it but it’s not what I crave whenever I want to listen to music. I did enjoy this when I saw Gorguts earlier this year with none other than some Fharcwit who runs a silly riff of the week contest. Roll on at 0.00
Yarnhawk
The Monolith Deathcult – “Deus Ex Machina” (Riff @ 6:38)
This entire album is criminally underrated in the metal world. An excellent blend of Tech Death with synth, Triumvirate was an album that I heard before I got into any seriously heavy metal, and it stuck with me enough that once I came to appreciate brutality, it was one of the first albums I revisited. A crushing drum fill sets the tone for the blistering riff that follows, and I’ll be darned if it isn’t one heck of a humdinger.
Lacertilian
Suffering Hour – “Devouring Shapeless Void” (Riff @ 0:00)
As HD has already submitted a solid riff from my favourite metal band I’ll take this moment to drop in a fucking insane riff from Suffering Hour’s debut. No, you’re right, they’re not tech-death. But last week I deliberately left the theme open for interpretation by titling it simply “tech”. Even so, Suffering Hour are death metal, and this intro riff is as technical as any riff needs to be. Some fucking maniac had uploaded a pretty spot-on cover a couple of months before the damn album even came out, which you should take a quick look at if you wanna see this song in action. Jealous as fuck of that Aussie-made fanned-fret Ormsby weapon too.
Next week we’re going to be getting radioactive. Believe it or not but I actually had that theme idea written down before this week. Then that despotic dictator, that aspiring autocrat, that tiny-testicled trigger-touching tyrant, that draconian dickhole, that small-man-syndrome-suffering scumbag, that nepotistic neanderthal, that inheritance-incurring imbecile, that horrible-haircut-having homophobe, and Kim Jong-Un, decided to ramp-up rhetoric to distract from their atrocious policies and insanely low international approval rates. We may all be at the whim of two of the least diplomatically minded leaders the modern world has ever seen, but at least we still have our beautiful bowl-borne bureaucracy for one more week. Maybe. Send your NUCLEAR riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com by Friday, being sure to include your screen-name, a time-stamp, and a short description.
*= At smoking bongs. Also, I meant a different Michael Phelps. Not the Olympian dude. Have you seen that prick swim?? His lung capacity would be HUGE. Bet he’s ripped more cones than some of his competitors have had hot dinners. Nah, I meant this Michael Phelps. He’s a fucking amateur. Look at him. Hahahahah, that guy sucks. Alright, so he’d probably be better than me too. But I’d at least give him a run for his money.
(Image via)
