Riff ov the Week: 11-21-15


Rock guitarist play on the electric guitar around fire flames.

Fire flames, people.

Last time on (the Grim and Frostbitten Edition of) Riff ov the Week, that lizardly, fork-tongued rascal Lacertilian won with his snide-ass Foreigner pick. We submit to thee, O’ Scaled One. Cricket-eating fuck.

Next week:

  • Send your riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. If you’re reading this, you’re invited — don’t be shy. Include the name by which you wish to be called, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, do tell.

On to the riffing, then.



There’s never enough traditional heavy metal in these contests. I ask you — why?


Old Man Doom




I’m sick and in the middle of exams so I need Satan to take me to a better place. 0:04.


Jack Bauer

3:54 fuck yes.






I’m still trying to frame my Porcelain Throne writeup of Grand Magus into something coherent, as I felt my Iced Earth entry was a bit rushed. On the plus side, this means I get to fall down the rabbit hole of listening to killer old power metal tunes. And really, anything from Grand Magus just makes you want to bust down the door of a mead hall and start a fistfight with a Viking, no? How about the fastest tune off their best album? Storm King’s opening riff makes you want to drive about three times the legal limit, slowing down a bit for the chorus, then threading it back in and out a few more times, at 1:28 and 3:08. Power, my brothers.



This band sounds a lot like Pantera but has a way tougher name. For its sheer amount of crunchy groove, Cast Down the Plague by Pissing Razors is one of my go-to gym CDs. In fact, I almost submitted a riff from a song on that album (“Vexed”). But when the riff at about 0:06 came up during a recent cardio session and helped me survive my final few sprints (with only minimal retching), I knew I had to submit it. If this groove doesn’t get you pumped, you have not the heart of a warrior.



One of the few good blackgaze/post black/ whatever you whippersnappers call it bands out there. Riff starts at 1:46, and air guitar weedly deedlies ensue.


Ted Nü-Djent

I’ve listened to a lot of Nomeansno this week. 5 minutes 45 seconds. So should you.


Boss the Ross

When it was announced that Abbath had departed from Immortal I, along with most of you I suspect, was a completely taken by surprise. “Abbath is Immortal, what do you mean he’s out?” were my words. Fast forward a little while and Abbath announces a new band and a solo album. Hell yes, the frozen king is back. Last week the first official track was released. Winter’s Bane is exactly what I wanted, good heavy metal, straight forward, no frils heavy fucking metal. This is Abbath stretching his mighty raven wings and taking flight. This song has been stuck in my head since it’s release and has made Abbath’s solo album my most anticipated album at the moment. Bang your head.



Typically, I’m out for my Saturday long run when you’re all riffing of the weeking. When my legs start screaming and my pace starts falling, Black/Thrash is my genre of choice for an aural shot of EPO. The mix of speed, aggression, melody and a pinch of Satan, always provide a much needed kick in the arse. The riff starts at 00:00 and works as the intro, verse and chorus. It’s that fuckin’ good. Warning: This track is likely to cause severe trauma to your C2-C7 vertebrae.



I should have listened when Stocky mini-reviewed this album earlier this year. Dagon reminded me about it a month or so ago and I’ve been coming back to it regularly. The blend of genres these French-metallers combine is unique, deathy chord progressions, black metal riffing, layers of atmosphere, ambience, acoustic passages and even jazzy bass-sections are incredibly well-done. This riff (0:00) is essentially the start of the album. Go and listen to the thing, it is a good thing.


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