Thrash your Saturday off with a thrashload of thrash. 

Last week, good ol’ Edward picked some fruit so low-hanging that he could reach it with his ass on the floor, but the people have spoken and I’m obligated to comply with their vote. Thus, I hereby begrudgingly congratulate Edward as the winner of the very first Scream of the Week.

Most buttpain aside, Travis Ryan is an inhuman vocal alien machine monster demon man and I resent none of you for voting for him/it.


Ellipsis and Paris Hilton tied for second place with Neurosis and Judas Priest respectively.

This week we only took THRASH RIFFS, so slam some pizza, chug some toxic waste, loosen up your neck hinges or spine or whatever and get ready to bang your head into stuff and smell bad. This might be the best batch we’ve ever had. I’m so proud of most of you.


BUT FIRST, pay attention:

  • Christian Molenaar has a killer idea for a theme next week. It’s a tough one, so pay attention and don’t wimp out like wimps, you wimps. Here it is in his own words: Next week’s theme is a special kind of riff: one that has stood the test of time, one that every great metal band has played in some form at one point or another. We’re talking about The Riff. If you’re in a so-called “metal” band and you don’t have a song containing some semblance of this riff you are a poser and will never make it anywhere but deep down the Toilet ov Hell and straight past the Sewer ov Obskurity. This is the riff that opens “2 Minutes to Midnight,” Riot’sSwords & Tequila” (great combination), Accept’sFlash Rockin’ Man,” Madam X’sDirty Girls” and TNT’sDeadly Metal” (go ahead and submit those if you can’t be bothered to find one yourself, hack). The Riff is generally based around a pedal point on the open A string of a guitar in standard tuning with brittle, treble-y 80s distortion. It’s also the foundation of a thousand forgotten mid-80s glam, hair metal and AOR hits. Everyone from Judas Priest to Motley Crue to Saxon to Anthrax has played some variation of this riff. Give us your best.
  • Send your The Riff riff to toiletovhell@gmail.com.
  • If you have some good ideas for a theme, let me know in the comments.
  • High five.



When Aggressor gets tired of spamming the ride and hammers the crash at 1:00, all shit is lost. Start it 0:48 and wait for the moment. “Mock your words / I will laugh in disrespect / then wash my hands in your blood / Conqueror!”



Testament’s The Gathering saw the familiar faces of Eric Peterson and Chuck Billy teaming up with James Murphy, Dave Lombardo and Steve DiGiorgio creating a formidable, one album supergroup. @1:47 these forces of headbangery bring the riffage with a stomping change of pace that you’d expect from these experienced thrashers.


Elite Extremophile

Not only is this riff (2:46) fantastic, the bass in this song makes everything else look like And Justice For All by comparison.


Jimmy McNulty

Guys, I’m ready to win one of these.  Anytime one tries to flush Dave Mustaine down the toilet, he just won’t go down. It’s because of this album. Riff starts at 0:12 and doesn’t let go (why am I telling you this??).



Gotta give the nod to “Nuke the Cross” by Toxic Holocaust. Starts off just with the main riff and a few drum hits as the deep breath before the plunge – then it’s thrashin’ of the highest order.


Nordling Rites ov Karhu

Thrash as music is best when it’s simple beer music. This approach is however often not responsible for the best singular riffs. At 00:05 on your journey through this Tunnel, Coroner unleashes a riff so awesome you will be left with no choice but to feel the Pain.



This week I chose a riff from one of my top 3 Kreator tracks – “The Pestilence” from the 1986 thrash-fest Pleasure to Kill. So many top riffs in this 7 minutes but I pick from 4:44 – 5:38 or so.


Satan ov Hell

To have a thrash edition, is for me, not an easy place to pick a riff. I love thrash, I love it alot, I love good thrash, I love trash thrash, I love mediocre thrash, I even like the Slayer song I lied about not liking. But I have to pick this riff; it’s thrash legacy. The opening riff to, “The Final Command” is one of the single most perfect riffs in metal. It builds up the song, it’s melody is face melting, speed blistering, and atmosphere like something from a battle between heaven and hell.


Tom Warrior’s Beanie

Forget what I or anyone else has said. This is thrash at its most furious, knocking on the door of the burgeoning death metal movement but not quite completing the crossover. If you don’t like this you definitely don’t like thrash and probably don’t like metal. Or fun.


Howard Dean

There are thousands of great thrash riffs. Thrash is a subgenre built around the searing, primal beauty of fantastic guitar riffs. This is one of my absolute favorites, just an absolutely crushing, bang your head bloody thrash riff. Demolition Hammer – “Skull Fracturing Nightmare.” Byah, motherfuckers. Riff starts at 1:36.



Aspid’s sole criminally-underrated masterpiece of an album doesn’t have one lousy riff, but the one that starts at the 1:59 mark in “Там где ночь” (very loosely translated to “Where the Night”) just screams THRASH to me the most out of all of them.


Brock Samson

My favorite Revocation opening riff.


George Lynch

Metal Church has to be one of the most underrated heavy metal/thrash bands of all time. Their songs, riffs, and performance we straight boss. “Hitman” is a fine showcase of their playing ability and a killer vocal performance by the late David Wayne. The “thrash” riff ov the week starts at 3:03. You will notice it has a hint of punk that would likely not be present in late 80’s “thrash.” Also, how much more fucking metal can that album cover get?!


Johnny Crunch

They go by the name of Vektor. It’s a mathematical term, represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude. Vektor! That’s them, because they’re writing riffs with both direction and magnituide. Oh yeah! The riff at 4:50 starts off a sequence of mega riffs that pretty much goes for the rest of the song. Though, you could put these guys songs on a timeline, throw a dart at it and land on a righteuos riff. Hurry the fuck up and write another album already.


Janitor Jim

Xentrix is a great band but they are very unknown by most thrash lovers. This song is one of my favorites by them, with riffs so awesome that the Big 4 should take notes on it.


Simon Phoenix

Ha. You thought I was going to go easy on you lifeloving wieners?  Think again. 0:03. That’s all that’s needed to begin the slaughter. That’s right. A Christian band (sort of) will ravage you harder than Alison Tyler after a month of abstaining from getting laid and an all-night alcohol binge. Forget that other band with this name; you’ll be going “Pardon me while splurge all over the walls.” MURDERDEATHMOSH.

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