Shirt Stains: Are These The Ugliest Bootlegs You’ve Ever Seen?
Yes. Yes they are.
If it can be sold, it can be bootlegged. There are websites, Twitter accounts, Tumblrs, blogs, and listicles dedicated to ridiculous bootlegged merchandise. Even this here column has covered bootlegged band merch found on legitimate websites like eBay and Facebook. All of those shirts were terrible and while it should come as no surprise that the bootleg shirts included in this post are terrible, they’re a special kind of terrible.
These shirts are like waking up from a sound sleep with painful leg cramps terrible. These shirts are having someone sit next to you on public transportation when there are plenty of open seats terrible. These shirts are you having food poisoning 10 minutes into a long car ride terrible. These shirts are a new song by Eskimo Callboy terrible. I could go shirt-by-shirt and make the usual silly comments, but it’s not necessary, they’re so monstrously ugly that words would never do them justice. Let us simply gaze upon them in abject horror and amazement.
All shirts are from one seller on Amazon, though you rest assured knowing that there are others out there peddling equally eye-pukingly ugly bootleg merch. Brace yourselves
That’s some quality photshopping right there. If you’re feeling adventurous and your wallet is feeling a little heavy, feel free to buy one of these and send us a picture of what these actually look like. Then let us know what the rest of your clothes look like when you throw this in the wash. Then wrap a dead fish in it and send it to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. He’ll either get the message or just sell the fish at Whole Foods.