Take to the Skies with Ostrichcopter


Do you remember that old arcade game Joust? You played as a ruby-visor wearing Donald Blake lookalike riding a giant ostrich. Your goal? Smite your enemies and throw down their corpses from the skies. The whole premise was ridiculous. Everyone knows ostriches can’t fly.

Until now.

Back in 2013, some enterprising freak by the name of Bart Jansen decided to live out his Joust fantasies and to create his own winged mount with which to strike terror into the hearts of his enemies. His solution: purchase the body of a dead male ostrich, stuff it with enough electronics to make Victor von Doom blush, and send his abomination soaring among the clouds. Ostrichcopter was born.

Jansen has a history of violating the laws of nature in ways sure to have Mary Shelley spinning in her grave. The mad genius previously converted a dead cat into a quadcopter. In fact, it was this affront to Mother Earth that gave him the idea to stuff his electronic junk inside an even bigger dead animal. As you can see in the video above, his experiment was a perverse success.

Soon our skies will be filled with the sound of rotating propellers and Nordic battle cries. I, for one, welcome our new avian overlords. For playing God with the essential salts and doing what must not be done, Mr. Jansen gets my metal salute of the month.

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