Flush it Friday: What Are Your Top 5 Metal Genres?


You see someone in a Dimmu Borgir shirt talking with their friend, and your shriveled soul prepares to unfold. As you overhear the absolute normie describe the band as “black metal”, a triumphant grin spreads across your lips.

“AKCHSUALLYthey’re Norwegian Symphonic Black Metal. Any honest fan of theirs would be able to detect this style through subtle regional variations. To label them merely ‘black metal…’, how ignorant must you be? How pitiable. Spoken like a person who has only heard the re-recorded Stormblåst, and doesn’t even include the diacritic ring when discussing it online…”

Listen up kiddos, it’s time for me to enlighten you with my Top 5 metal subgenres and notable albums. Take notes.

1) Progressive Blackened Daneth (Daneaspora)
2) Technical Daneth Metal (In Their Darkened Shades)
3) Melodaneth (12 Danege)
4) Slondge (Leviathdane)
5) Crossover Thrash (Grave Daneger)

Hans confirmed that The Human Race is Filth with this album premiere:

Album Premiere: The Human Race is Filth – Cognitive Dissonance

Joe TnK and 365 worked out the bugs in this ‘sode of Toilet Radio:

Toilet Radio 420: The Fiery Furnace Fest

We bumpin’. We grindin’ (Hans, is your back ok?):

Bump’n’Grind – Chopped Golden Endorphin Nails

List your top 5s along with the G/B/Us! (Let it be know that my real top 5 atm is probably something more like 1) Prog Black 2) Melodeath 3) Regular ollll Death Metal 4) Trad/Power 5) Grindcore, anything that has cross-pollination has a better chance of sticking. I’m a fickle birb.) ~<3 Roldy

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