News of Steel + Band Submissions + Open Swim


Fragments of new music, unpaid toilet labor, and tentative freedom of speech —  all in the same post!

If you think your garden variety power metal is the cheesiest music around, you’ve got another thing coming to you. That other thing currently coming to you is called J-power. Staying ever-true to their propensity for taking things that are weird and turning them into things that are weird as fuck, Japanese power metal has the added bonus of sounding like an anime intro montage (largely because, and you anime-watching geek losers correct me if I’m wrong, they are used for anime intro montages).

Galneryus are the undisputed emperors of J-power and they’ve just released some information regarding their upcoming album, Vetelgyus. Here’s what their official website has to say about it. I took the liberty of running it through Google’s Japanese-to-English translator. Lolbuttz ensued:

“GALNERYUS ○ supernova explosion the ultimate J-METAL in the original New album GALNERYUS long-awaited ! Whole picture of “VETELGYUS” is clearly at last! !


Original New album “VETELGYUS” which is a swing about two years was a big hit from “ANGEL OF SALVATION” ( Vu~eterugiusu ) .


Works of all HM / HR eagerly-awaited to be released on September 24 . The lifting of the ban once in its entirety !


And enhance work symbolizing brilliantly a new stage of GALNERYUS rush that has been repainted the stereotype of the J-METAL.”

Here’s the video preview for Vetelgyus. I for one can’t wait for Galneryus to “supernova explosion the ultimate J-metal.” Can you? Probably. As a random Youtube commenter put it, “全Rockファン、必聴です!” — “All Rock fan, is must listen!”

Next on the list — unsigned band submissions. We need them. We want to know which unsigned band is the best in the each state. Then we want to know which of them is the best in the whole wide country. Big thanks to everyone who has helped us out on this, you will be blessed for your offerings to the toilet. That being said, there are a few pathetic states that desperately require your assistance if they hope to compete at all. Behold the shameful few and show them pity.

  • Alabama
  • Delaware
  • Montana
  • Nebraska
  • South Dakota
  • Tennesee
  • West Virginia
  • Wyoming
  • Hawaii

Do you want these states to forfeit by default? That would be sad. We want every state to have equal opportunity to be crushed to death in battle. Go HERE and share some unsigned bands in the comments section! There is no limit. Those of you who have sat idly by, doing nothing: how dare you glut yourselves on the hard work of others. As soon as you’re done cleaning that egregious mustard stain off your brand new Dockers, I hope you spill ketchup on them, resulting in an equally egregious stain.

Lastly, despite the distinct lack of shark on the featured photo, this is, in fact, an Open Swim — a special time where you can get out all of your shitposting wiggles. Talk about whatever you want. Almost!


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