Kissing Candice – Ghosted (Live): A Video Breakdown
Mwwwwwwwwwwwwwah!
Summer touring is upon us, and that means a whole bunch of bands you’ve never heard of are probably coming to your town. Big tours like Summer Slaughter and Mayhem Fest are huge opportunities for up and coming bands to quickly and easily reach large, untapped audiences. These opportunities usually came with a large price tag attached and more often than not, yielded very little in return. Ozzfest used to do it all the time. Just ask Magni-Fi, Beautiful Creatures, Memento, and Sw1tched. If you can find them.
This year’s Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival TM has a Victory Records stage showcasing a handful of the label’s up-and-coming bands. While we sadly don’t get to see Snow White’s Poison Bite in all of it’s Finnish-emo glory, there will be Code Orange and Jungle Rot. Nice to see those rookies in Jungle Rot finally get a chance. There’s also Sworn In if you feel like being nostalgic for nu-industrial.
Joining these groups is Kissing Candice, a band that I legitimately thought was a joke when I first saw their video for the song “Ghosted”. I just assumed they were being ironic or poking fun at bands that wear masks and have gimmicks like Slipknot and Mushroomhead while sounding like they should be opening for those bands. Turns out the joke is on us, because Kissing Candice is sincere. Rather than breaking down one of there music videos, I thought it would be a fun idea to look at a live video from a recent performance on Mayhem Fest.
0:07: Nice smock.
0:10: Spinning around in a circle is the new “I don’t know what to do during this part”.
0:14: Glad to see Leatherface’s younger brother Loganface is playing guitar now.
0:18: If you’ve ever wondered what happens to the old meat scraps that a deli throws out, now you know.
0:21: Aw, he got grape jelly all over his smock. Mom is going to be mad.
0:27: Dollar Store Jim Root looks like his radiator is overheating.
0:36: The byproduct of inbreeding, meth usage, and half a viewing of Until The Light Takes Us.
0:40: The vocalist’s “dance” moves were stolen from someone looking for their contact lens.
0:48: Apparently someone stole his pants in retaliation.
0:52: He’s clearly suffering from Restless Everything Syndrome.
0:55: Loganface isn’t hitting that note. He’s bludgeoning it to death. Just like his big brother taught him.
1:02: Where does the name “Kissing Candice” come from?
1:05: Was someone smooching Full House’s Candace Cameron Bure?
1:08: Was it because her brother Kirk Cameron wasn’t available?
1:11: Please clap! For the love of god, please clap or Victory will drop us!
1:20: I hope Corey Taylor is getting compensation for letting this guy use one of his masks.
1:25: I don’t think I’ve seen a drummer more bored than the one in Kissing Candice.
1:29: He’s probably thinking about kissing Candice Bergen from Murphy Brown.
1:32: -5 points for not bouncing in unison.
1:41: So did he buy his smock/hospital gown like that or did he have to stain it himself?
1:48: And who’s the guy spastically jumping around by the drummer in the white shirt.
1:53: Is he a part of the band or did he just wander on stage?
1:56: We’ve gone from badly dancing to hair twirling. I have no joke to make; it needed to be pointed out.
2:01: My thoughts exactly, Loganface.
2:08: Electronic dancey blips and bleeps don’t cover up the smell, Kissing Candice.
2:14: What are the odds that he’s not wearing any undies? 2:1?
2:20: Because we’re very close to seeing what Candice sees.
2:27: The bassist also has jelly all over him. Did no one teach them how to use a napkin?
2:31: You wouldn’t have to keep fixing your stupid mask if you, y’know, weren’t wearing a stupid mask.
2:36: Thank you! We need a ride home!
So that was Kissing Candice. You can see them this summer on the Mayhem Festival. Doors at 11:00am, Kissing Candice goes on at 10:55am.
