Waste the rest of your work day here.

Yesterday, Dubya alerted me to the existence of a Nintendo character with whom I was previously unfamiliar. Boshi, a cousin of iconic Mario Brothers character Yoshi that is a member of inner city street gang the Bloods, was a minor character in 1996 SNES game Super Mario RPG. Look at him up there. He’s got sunglasses. And a spiked collar. And a rude ‘tude. Boshi is a certified bad ass. 

Wario, first introduced as a nemesis character to Mario in 1992’s Super Mario Land 2 but over the years he’s become a fan favorite. Appearing in tons of games over the years, including his own series, Wario has won over hearts and minds with his trademark bad boys ways and as Nintendo’s first openly gay character.

What list of bad ass Nintendo characters would be complete without the coolest dude in all of Kong country? Funk Kong made his first appearance as friend of the Kong family and proprietor of Funky’s Flights in the original 1994 Donkey Kong Country. Known for his cool shades, tendency to shred waves, and a number of DUI convictions, Funky is without a doubt a bad ass.

Finally, we have Waluigi who is a total bad ass because he does exactly what he wants to do. He’s not even related to his counter part Wario. Don’t believe me? Read up on his backstory:

The floor is yours. Thank you for your continued support of this particular iToilet. We’ll see you tomorrow.