Superstition Is Real As Shit And I’ll Tell You Why…

1199
0
Share:

Superstition is no new thing, it has prevailed in society for the entire duration of my lifetime, and some posit even longer! And for good reason, it’s cool as shit.

Forget this new-age logic nonsense that these so-called scholars are trying instil and consequently syphon all the fun out of your life with, there’s nothing irrational about superstition. In fact, most of it is just straight-up smart shit that you probably already do. Don’t walk under ladders? No shit! Walk up them, you goon. Don’t exsanguinate atop a broken mirror? That’s just good ol’ fashioned common sense. Make sure your socks are on the right foot? I think I’d notice if I was fucking that up. Don’t vaccinate on the weekend? Of course, I’ve read the warnings. Painting your carpet red is a bad idea? Well, yeah, red doesn’t match most furniture. Only use even volume settings? Well duh, every odd number has an even one right above it, and louder is always better. Seriously, this is just basic applied mathematics, and maths is the basis for all logic and reason. Case fucking closed.

Just think, every classic play you’ve witnessed in the sporting arena, all those inspiring moments that have immeasurably enriched your life, would never have occurred without the aid of superstition. Sportspeople are renown for being some of the most superstitious groups on the planet, is it any coincidence they’re also some of the most well-paid and respected? My intuition says no-fucken-way. Our family palm reader agrees. Even now, as I sip some lemonade squeezed from a 101% GMO-free properly nailed lemon, I read that the last male Northern White Rhino has just died. This unequivocally proves that the ancient Chinese practice of extracting the mystical virility molecules from the ungulate’s potent horn was a completely legitimate exercise. For, you see, the only creature  vexed with the inability to obtain this potent zoological viagra was the rhino itself. Had it of been physically able to ritualistically ingest its own appendage in some kind of avant-garde auto-fellatio ceremony, it may have been able to cure the species’ hereditary boaner cancer and remain extant. Pachydermal paradoxisms aside, regardless of how obvious the evidence and blatant the links to the causality therein, millions of people think irrecoverably terrible things just happen during normal-ass daily life. To them, superstition is antiquated bullshit. The facts don’t matter, there’s just no way of changing their minds. However, there is one new superstition I think both the rational humans and fucking lunatics can actually reach an agreement on. This debut demo from Santa Fe’s Superstition is very evil, very real, and very deadly. It’s also very cheap. Free, even.

As you can hear within the first minute of play, Superstition have no qualms with skipping down the left hand path, being sure to stomp on every crack along the way. But where others have diverged down either the black, death, or thrash routes, Superstition remained at the fork in the road. There they sit, betwixt the tracks paved by primeval blackened thrash and the archaic form of raw death espoused by many a South American band during the scene’s late 80’s nascency. Imbued with an overtly occult atmosphere courtesy of several spooky samples and more hooks than a Haitian pirate’s second-hand swap-meet, Surging Throng Of Evil’s Might is the perfect soundtrack for your next Ouija board ogling occasion. On first listen, my mind immediately drew a connection with their sound and that of Brooklyn black thrash bastards Throaat, while the primal percussion brought to mind Chilean maniacs Invocation Spells, however, a strange feeling of déjà vu swept over me once the vocals and guitars intertwined and began to conspire as one. Prior to this I knew exactly one metal band from New Mexico, and that was Predatory Light. What were the chances that the suspiciously familiar tone emanated from the very same people? A local psychic medium read the stars and informed me the odds were something in the way of 3:WhateverThePopulationOfNewMexicoIsMinusThree. After checking with the experts on Metal Archives, it turns out my intuition was once again proven correct. Now it’s time for you to trust your gut, that voice in your head telling you to pick this album up, go with it.

Shit is free but I’d flick them a coin or three (but definitely not 2 or 7, just in case it comes back to fuck you).

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
41 Shares