The ONE EPIC THING Wintersun fans have REALLY been Asking For…
Jari Mäenpää, formerly of Ensiferum, now the creative driving force behind majestic melodic metal band, Wintersun… it’s about “Time” somebody stopped making all these terrible time-related puns and finally called you the fuck out.
Eleven years. Eleven long years of setbacks, broken promises, excuses, dead silence, and we have yet to receive exactly what we expected of you. It’s over, you scheister. It’s time you start answering this question, once for all, to all of your fans who keep asking you over and over…
Where the fuck are my Wintersun wallpapers?
It’s been over a good long decade, and here I am stretching out my original Wintersun debut album cover JPEG all over my computer screen, like some kind of dumb ass. This is unacceptable. Do you know how many years all my friends who are fans of other extreme metal bands have been actively mocking me for this low-resolution travesty I have to use to display my Wintersun fandom on my laptop? While their favorite groups are consistently supplying them with a generous output of quality desktop background images, here I am stuck in the fucking early aughts; using the same exact screenshot.BMP file I had on my old Dell CRT setup.
It’s time to pay up, and pay up seriously.
No more will I tolerate your excuses; excuses regarding the standard of quality for which Wintersun wallpapers must meet for you personally, while turning a deaf ear to what your fans may want or find acceptable.
Listen, I thought that the Time I wallpaper I got back in late 2012 was a perfectly good desktop background. Sure it might have been just a little bit muddled, just a bit noisy. A little too much going on there for everybody to handle — if only at first — but I thought it was good. Not worth all the years we waited for it, but yes, still good. Most regular people wouldn’t even notice the overlayered, overproduced, totally digital art that was the result of your many compromises with the Time background as a concept. So look, sometimes done is better than perfect, alright?
I even understand requesting fans to help you fund building a million dollar house for you to live and record in. I totally get it. You need space not only to live, to write, to practice, to record and produce your music, you also need some space to ensure that you can output something proper to look at when I first boot up my new laptop.
Eleven fucking years, bro. I’m not getting any younger.
So please, take my money. Take it all. “Twenty cups of coffee” and then some. Money is no object to me, I measure value only in sweeping guitar solos and lossless compression. But you better believe I’m expecting some results I should be happy with, or this fan/artist relationship you and I have is over. We need extra perks that actually matter outside of new material. I don’t just want 720p or 1080p trash. I want some goddamn 4k wallpapers, Jari. 16:9 crop, Jari. Fuck it, you’ve had enough time. How about you take it to that “next level” you keep promising us and put out some 5K masterpieces? It’s the very least you could do.
Go big or go home, Jari. Deliver. Deliver exactly as I, and all the rest of us here keep asking of you.
