This Toilet Tuesday (3/20/18)


You come home late tonight, exhausted from a long day at work. Thoughts churning, mind numb, you sit in the car awhile to let your brain settle. What a night. The sweet succor of your couch calling, you haul yourself out of the driver’s seat. Suddenly, the bushes beside you rustle, and you have no time to react as a wide-eyed, disheveled stranger comes screaming out of the night towards you. He’s behind you in a flash, hooking one arm across your chest and another across your face, two of his fingers catching the inside of your cheek. You instinctively go to bite down and nearly vomit as you taste what you’re pretty sure is feces on his grubby hands. He begins to drag you into the street, muttering hysterically; whether it’s to himself, to the night, to you, you’re unsure. “Too long! I’ve watched in solitude for too long! The end comes, it’s so close, right beneath their feet! They must see, they MUST SEE!” he hisses. He mercifully pulls his hand from your mouth, and you hear him drag a manhole cover from its place just before he unceremoniously drops you in.

You hop to your feet raring to fight as he drops down beside you, but you hesitate as the moonlight filtering in illuminates his emaciated form. He’s completely nude and caked in shit, and you swear a couple particularly thick patches of it are pulsing. He stares at you with his unnervingly large eyes through long, thick strands of filth-coated hair, and he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you further into the sewers with strength belying his wasted form. He maintains his fervent pace in the pitch black tunnels, suddenly wrenching you in one direction every now and then; either he’s memorized his path, or those big eyes help him see. Either way, it’s disturbing that one so obviously mentally broken has such capabilities. Eventually, you can see a light coming from a far opening, one that appears to be a natural erosion in the tunnel side. He pulls you towards it, dragging you to the edge of a cliff in a massive chamber lit by effulgent fungus. “There! Below! You must see!” he wails, pointing below before his breath catches in a voiceless scream. You eye him for a moment, then peer over the edge.

Not far down, illuminated in the soft blue of the incandescent mushrooms, is a massive, churning pool of liquid shit. Pockets of gas bubble to the surface, occasionally belching out choking gouts of wretched air. It stretches on and on farther than you can see; you stare at it in awe and horror when the smell hits. You nearly faint, collapsing at the outcropping’s edge and puking into the pit. Your vomit hits the surface, and you hear your captor shriek beside you. “It knows! You’ve doomed us! It knows we’re here!” You turn and see him scramble back towards the entrance when a massive groan comes from somewhere below you. You look back towards the pit; the churning pool seems to be taking form, and to your horror, you can see a humanoid face beginning to form. The groan becomes a roar, and the ground begins to quake beneath you. The shock causes the opening to cave in, and the ground below you starts to collapse. You claw for purchase at the crumbling rock to no avail; it gives way entirely and you fall down, down, down into the fecal ocean below. It rapidly eats away at your body, and you can feel your consciousness fading- no, being pulled away by another. A massive mind, ancient, ever-growing and ever consuming. In the last seconds before you lose all sense of self, you catch a glimpse of its own mind, and you see. This is truly the end; all will be swallowed in its putrid maw.

Submit to the shit. It’s Toilet Tuesday.

Avon Dealer – Scifantanimangamythologist (Independent) [Goregrind]

Going to show a little Local love here. Avon Dealer is a goregrind band out of Oshawa (about 45 mins east of Toronto) features members from Grotesque Organ Defilement (aka G.O.D). The story behind their name is rather funny; their drug dealer happened to sell Avon products on the side (or vice versa). Anyways, after 3 long ass years, they’ve finally released their debut LP. If you’re already a fan of G.O.D, you’re likely going to dig this. This is rampant with pitchshifter-vocals much like Rompeprop, so it’s got these awesome putrid vocals. It’s a real fun record if you’re into goregrind; otherwise, you’ll be on Spear’s side calling this Lolbuttz (it very much is though). This stuff is only goregrind in sound though so you’re not going to get that NSFW album cover nor songs with explicit sexual references in the titles. I’m really digging the mix on this. I love the hollow sounding snare. I like that it’s not heavy on blasts and guitar is groovy but sludgy, somewhat sloppy, so the album has a rather grimy sound to it. While it’s not going to blow you away and switch the non-goregrind fan into a believer overnight, this album is a breath of fresh air for a genre that is rampant with sex, shit, or murder themed bands. If you’re not looking for something on the serious side of things, you might this album to be fun. Even if you want to consider it Lolbuttz (it is), it’s still infinitely times better than the lolbuttz album on the list. 3/19/18 (Bert Banana)

Nightmarer – Cacophony of Terror (Season of Mist) [Dissonant Death Metal]
Listen to “Skinner,” “Fetisch”

It’s rather amazing how quickly expectations change. I walked into this with the whole, “Nightmarer…that’s kind of a silly name” only to find out this band features members of Gigan and The Ocean. Expectations now set to: High. Since this is a dissonant death metal album, you’re going to get a sound similar to Ulsect and Dodecahedron. This is not by any means a bad thing; both those bands released killer shit last year. John Collett (ex-Gigan) delivers some evil as fuck vocals somewhat reminiscent of Dave Edwardson’s vocals from last year’s Krallice album Loüm. While Simon Hawemann’s guitar work does a good job giving that nightmarish atmosphere, I think the real star on this record is Paul Seidel (The Ocean) and his drum work. It’s fantastic. I think my biggest take away from this record though is the production. It’s little too clean. I feel that a little rawness to the mix would give it that extra oomph. Despite that, not only is this is (hands down) the best Death Metal release for the week but it may be worth revisiting later in the year. 3/23/18 (Bert Banana)

Toxikull – The Nightraiser (Mosher Records) [Speed Metal]
Listen to “Surrender or Die”


The Absence – A Gift for the Obsessed (M-Theory Audio) [Melodeath]

I don’t generally get into straight up melodeath these days, but you also don’t run into bands like The Absence every day. This is melodeath with teeth; it brings some technical flourishes and thrashy aggression to the table, and the Bloodshot Dawn-style shredding certainly doesn’t hurt either. They have a good grasp of melody, too- while the two songs up now follow a pretty predictable structure, the same can’t be always be said for the melodies themselves. It’s an interesting examination of creative songwriting in a familiar frame, and it just so happens be heabanging as shit on top of that. 3/23/18 (Spear)

Abrin – Hell on Earth (Soundage/Punishment 18) [Thrash/Heavy Metal]

Altars of Grief – Iris (Hypnotic Dirge Records) [Black/Doom]

Automaton – Automaton (Independent) [Power Metal]
Listen to “The Cull,” “Highbinder”

Axel Rudi Pell – Knights Call (Steamhammer) [Power Metal]

Befouled – Refuse to Rot (Great Dane Records) [Death Metal]

Borealis – The Offering (AFM Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Sign of No Return,” “River”

Chaostar – The Undivided Light (Season of Mist) [Dark Ambient/Neoclassical]
Listen to “Stones and Dust”

Coffin Curse – Inward Dissolution (Von Frost Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “As Light is Banished”

Crisix – Against the Odds (Listenable Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Get Out of My Head”

Cross Vein – Gate of Fantasia (Zeno Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Graceful Gate”

Dagor Bragollach – Niflheimr (Narcoleptica Productions) [Black Metal]

DDENT – TORO (Independent) [Post-Metal/Doom]
Listen to “Dis à la lune qu’elle vienne”

Dark Buddha Rising – II (Neurot Recordings) [Sludge/Doom]

Dead of Night – The Evolving Science of Self (Pride & Joy Music) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “For I Am Music,” “Seraphim”

Demonical – Chaos Manifesto (Agonia Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Towards Greater Gods”

Demon Incarnate – Key of Solomon (FDA Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Beyond and Below”

Djevel – Blant svarte graner (Aftermath Music) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Det Svartner Paa Likbleik Hud”

Earthstream – Earth Scream (Repentless) [Melodeath]

Eldritch – Cracksleep (Scarlet Records) [Prog Power]
Listen to “As the Night Crawls In”

Eliminator – Last Horizon (Dissonance Productions) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Last Horizon”

Emphasis – Soul Transfer (Redrivet Records) [Symphonic/Prog Metal]

Et Moriemur – Epigrammata (Transcending Obscurity) [DOOM]

Fleshworks – Engine of Perdition (Apostasy Records) [Death Metal]

Foul Body Autopsy – This Machine Kills Zombies (Independent) [Thrash]

Freedom Hawk – Beast Remains (Ripple Music) [Doom/Rock]
Listen to “Darkness and Light”

Frozen Winds – Necromantic Arts (Deathhammer Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Martyria”

Hellavista – Robolution (Art Gates Records) [Butt Metal]
Listen to “Robolution”

Hinayana – Order Divine (Independent) [Death Doom]
Listen to “Order Divine,” “Return to Nothing”

In Pain – Summoning the Dead (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Superior Virus”

Izegrim – Beheaded By Trust (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Beheaded By Trust”

Kamijo – Sang (Sherow Artist Society) [Symphonic Power Metal]

Lampir – The Alchemy of Cursed Blood (Nebular Carcoma Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Sixth Revelation of Depravity”

Last Days of Eden – Chrysalis (Pride & Joy Music) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “Falling in the Deep”

Leather – II (Rubicon) [Heavy Metal]

Lenore S. Fingers – All Things Lost on Earth (My Kingdom Music) [Doom]
Listen to “Rebirth,” “Epitaph”

Lord Ketil – Long Lone Among the Wolves (Ogmios Underground) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Deadman’s Sword”

Lunatic Gods – Turiec (Independent) [Folky Death/Doom]

Memoriam – The Silent Vigil (Nuclear Blast Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Bleed The Same”

Mournful Congregation – The Incubus of Karma (20 Buck Spin) [Funeral Doom]

Of Feather and Bone – Bestial Hymns of Perversion (Profound Lore Records) [Death Metal]

Owl – Orion Fenix (Zeitgeister Music) [Death/Doom]

Persefone – In Lak’Ech (Independent) [Prog Metal]

Replicant – Negative Life (PRC Music) [Weird Death Metal]
Listen to “Inescapable Grief,” “Oceans of Dust,” “Chaotic Neutral”

Requiem Global – Resistance Rising (FDA Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “For the Blind to See”

Reverend Hound – Enter My Nightmare (Independent) [Hard Rock]
Listen to “Enter My Nightmare”

Rusty Nails – Seasons of Hatred (Sliptrick Records) [Thrash]

Screaming Beast – Our New Narrative of Hate (Independent) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Despair”

The Seathmaw Project – Inexistence (Narcoleptica Productions) [Melodeath]

Seven Thorns – Symphony of Shadows (Independent) [Tim Burton Cover Art Metal]

Shadowrise – Shadowrise (Indepenendent) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Atlantis”

Sol de Sangre – Sol de sangre (Independent) [Death Metal]

Storm upon the Masses – The Ones Who Came Back (Dolorem Records) [Brutal Death Metal]
Listen to “Rising Darkness,” “The Ones Who Came Back”

Strangle Wire – The Dark Triad (Grindscene Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Psychopathic Blue”

Strigampire – One Fix, Nine Clouds & Six Feet Deep (PRC Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Only Hell I Know,” “Stand & Resist”

Substratum – Permission to Rock (Independent) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Night Sweats”

The Sword – Used Future (Razor & Tie) [Doom]
Listen to “Deadly Nightshade”

Thanatomania – Resignation (Narbentage Produktionen) [Black Metal]
Listen to “II”

Thy Feeble Saviour – And Darkness Fell (Hells Headbangers) [Black/Death Metal]
Listen to “Torture Stake,” “And Darkness Fell”

Tombstone – Evolution (Roll the Bones Records) [Groove Metal]

Tomorrow’s Outlook – A Voice Unheard (Battlegod Productions) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Fly Away”

Ungfell – Mythen, Mären, Pestilenz (Eisenwald) [Black Metal]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

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