Witch Taint – Sons Of Satan: A Video Breakdown

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Daimon Hellstrom, is that you?

This classic clip from The Simpsons has been running through my head since coming across Witch Taint’s “Sons Of Satan” music video. Maybe it’s because I picture comedian Dave Hill from Witch Taint aggressively asking if we’re ready to laugh. Maybe it’s because Malcolm fucking Gladwell of all people is apparently in the video. Maybe it’s because the band is on an actual record label. Who knows? Either way, I’m already holding my sides to keep them from splitting at the total hilarity that is about to ensue. Let’s break it down.

 

Mixing paper with plastic is not trve.

 

I don’t like this new season of Stranger Things.

 

Sure the mischief is mildly bad, but I’m more concerned with all the crotch grabbing. See a doctor.

 

Wait, you’re telling me Walmart didn’t want their name associated with this video?

 

This is the type of devil that sells you Red Hot Dollars and candy cigarettes.

 

“Help me Goatman, help me clean my wounds.”

 

The most terrifying babies in a music video since Twisted Sister’s Silver Bells.

 

A sneak peek of the fridges at Golden Corral.

 

Same.

Witch Taint’s album Sons Of Midwestern Darkness is out on April 10th via Tee Pee Records.

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