Angelseed – Dancing With The Ghosts: A Video Breakdown

June 12, 2017

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Oh oh, Dancing with a-myself, Oh, oh, dancing with my-AH A GHOST!

Croatia’s Angelseed is classified as symphonic power metal band, but if you watched their new video for their song “Dancing With The Ghosts” with the sound off, you might mistake them for some sort of weird industrial/fantasy metal band. Kind of like if Fear Factory took a bunch of acid and watched all the Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit movies. Then ate some Banquet frozen dinners. There’s a reason those things are usually on sale for $1.00. Blech.

The point is that judging a book by its cover, while usually accurate and fun, isn’t always the right thing to do. When you think of “symphonic power metal” you probably think of flowing dresses, maybe some swords, and regrettable top hats. Is it a bad thing to meet those expectations? Is it a bad thing when a band does something completely different from what is expected? I’ll let you decide.

0:00: This is almost six minutes long?! Expectations annoyingly met.
0:06: “Making time fly” dad jokes ensue.
0:13: All those 9’s and not one 6. What a missed opportunity to say “Niiiiice.”
0:17: There’s not enough borgs in metal.
0:22: Okay, maybe there is enough borgs in metal.
0:27: Are we sure there isn’t a Fear Factory video?
0:32: Like, maybe Burton C. Bell was having some sort of lucid dream and this is the end product?
0:41: How can a video simultaneously have so much and so little going on at the same time?
0:46: I feel like we’re dangerously close to getting a yucky Matrix/Hellraiser fan-fic story.
0:55: Blow it out and make a wish!
1:03: Ta-dah!
1:10: If someone ever starts doing that in art class, you have my permission to give them a purple nurple.
1:21: You opened the box, we came…and used a lot of jump-cuts in the process,
1:25: Those tubes are filled with Ecto Cooler Hi-C.
1:30: Ma’am, please don’t try to act sexy while looking like a techno alien from Planet Cybergross.
1:37: If you keep playing with it, you’re going to go blind.
1:43: Was the extra nub on the back of her head really necessary?
1:49: It makes her look like an avocado.
1:54: At least buy the crystal dinner before you go touching it.
2:07: There are worse ways to go than drowning in giant vat of Clearly Canadian.
2:16: Hey, Angelseed found Donald Trump’s magic orb.
2:20: Oh, wait. It’s Chris Barnes’s magic orb.
2:26: People really love their La Croix.
2:31: Where…where did his shirt go?
2:37: Looks like someone is ready to follow the riff to the smoke-filled land.
2:40: No, wait. That’s not right.
2:51: Dude, just bend the cage a little. It’s not made of steel.
2:56: Or get Robocop to do it for you.
3:05: JUST DROWN ALREADY!
3:13: That is the world’s worst dirty limerick.
3:20: “And why do they call them ‘fingers’?”
3:25: It took her 40 years to figure that out.
3:32: Gimme a ‘T’!
3:40: He’s perfect for the role of “Weedian #3” in the off-Broadway production of “Dopesmoker”.
3:49: Ladies and gentleman, please give it up for Mr. Rob Zombie!
3:55: She looks like the end product of a Klingon banging a bowl of kale.
4:03: What a vine time to be alive.
4:10: If only there was an open flame to burn away all of that stuff.
4:18: Welcome to Seattle.
4:23: He thinks that symbol means “courage”, but it actually means “scrotum lint”.
4:29: Side effects of Cialis include headache, dry mouth, and beams of light emanating from your forehead.
4:35: Johan from Amon Amarth smash!
4:42: Any more smoke and a doom festival is about to break out.
4:51: Ugh, that head nub is so gross.
4:56: Yeah, he can’t believe how long this video is either.
5:01: Stop, drop, and roll!
5:10: His unique ability is to have bad special effects.
5:14: Aaaaaaaand here comes the fan-fic.
5:19: He’s about to commit Sudoku.
5:25: I’m having trouble following this new X-Men movie.
5:32: Video clips soon to be appearing in a @MetalwoContext post.