Rum Ham vs. Crowtein – Who Wore It(‘s Always Sunny) Best?


In Kurt Vonnegut’s 1963 novel Cat’s Cradle, a central tenet of the religion of Bokononism is that one’s life is deeply interconnected to others in a unit that revolves around a singular object called a “wampeter”. Most individuals spend their lives blissfully unaware of what their wampeter is, while a special few are astute enough to discern its identity. I’m not a religious man myself, but some “coincidences” are just too much to explain away rationally, which has me thinking a bit like a Bokononist and following the clues the universe has left for me about my purpose in life. The life of a touring musician is strange, but not strange enough to account for a phenomena as curious as what I’ve witnessed on multiple occasions in disparate sectors of these great United States. Without a doubt, the wampeter around which my life surely revolves is It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia themed grindcore bands.

Back in 2015, I saw Rum Ham completely obliterate an empty Boston sportsbar during a hastily thrown-together weekday show. Rum Ham features beastly former Hivesmasher drummer Tim Brault, along with three of Massachussets’ other most talented shredders. The one-two punch of solitary studio recording Rum Shits is classic, pummeling grind just how I like to hear it – metal-as-fuck dissonant guitar shredding propelled by manic, punk-as-fuck drumming.


Seeing Rum Ham was a powerful experience, certainly, but only after playing a dingy basement with Indiana’s Crowtein in 2016 did it dawn on me that the wampeter which connects me to my karass must, without a doubt, in fact be grungy metalpunks with an affinity for the longest running live action scripted sitcom in television history.

Crowtein has the heaviest live sound I have ever heard from two-piece hardcore band. They fill my belly full of fight milk and make my heart soar as only the crow can. They created the 12 minute release King Ov The Rats in a single 45 minute writing session. If you don’t want to shotgun every Hamm’s on the planet and punch the floor to the righteously ignorant stomp of “The Gang Beats Boggs”, I don’t know what good can come of your life.

You know what, fuck Bokononism. Crowtein is my new religion.


Give an e-fistbump to Rum Ham here and to Crowtein here, then add their records to your Bandcamp collection by going here and here.

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